Tag Archives: self esteem

Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach

Posted on November 12, 2009 | 6 Comments

Top 5 Turn Ons

1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well.

2. There is something innately sexy about a confident initiator. The aww-shucks approach about having a friend write your profile or you not being used to this method of dating doesn’t really go as far as a guy who obviously knows online dating isn’t ideal but hey, we’re both here and you’re going to make the most of it by finding our sexy selves online and starting the pursuit.

3. If we think you’re hot, Continue reading →

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Posted in Dating, Advice for Guys, Finding a Date, Online Dating

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Long Distance Romance

Posted on November 11, 2009 | 4 Comments

**In honor of the men and women who are not Veterans YET, I thought I would re-post about Long Distance Relationships since I’m sure that you have more than your fair share of experience in this arena.

Happy Veteran’s Day!**

Long distance romance. Plausible or just a pain?

I’ve been getting lots of requests for a few posts on long distance romance, so lets talk about it.

Some people claim they will go anywhere and do anything for love. Traveling every other weekend to see each other, moving states and jobs, living with a phone in their ear and keyboard under their fingers. Others scoff at the possibility of making it last claiming things like “out of sight, out of mind,” “how can you really get to know someone when you aren’t living close enough to each other to ‘do life’ together,” or even that they might find love at a distance but settle for the person thats closer at hand since life is complicated enough without adding in some improbable relationship into the mix.

So, did you happen to meet someone from another city and don’t know if you can make it work? Were you blissfully bumping along in the same town and then one or the other of you got transferred? Personally, I think anything is possible, but you have to know yourself well to know if long distance is a possibility for you. A long distance relationship (LDR) brings the same set of challenges a local relationship does plus Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Online Dating, Relationship Advice

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How to be a Great Date with Extra Weight (Part 2)

Posted on November 4, 2009 | 2 Comments

Earlier this week, I talked about “fattitude” holding you back. Today’s post is all about what happens when you let go of the fattitude and are ready for the next step… going out on dates without your attitude weighing you down.

Men and women are both falling under the weight restriction requirements of our culture these days. Fashion designers have determined that women must be a size 0-4 in order to be considered “beautiful” (and “plus size” is anything over a size 10) and men are supposed to have ripped abs, a gun show and thick hair even into their 60′s. Unfortunately for the other 90% of the population, some of those things weren’t even possible in our early 20′s.

What pop culture doesn’t emphasize is that there are many men and women out there who could care less about weight, hair follicles or ab ripplage. A good guy friend of mine pleaded with me to cover the fact that not every guy looks at women

Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Finding a Date, Keeping a Date, Online Dating

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How to Date with Extra Weight: Do you have a Fattitude?

Posted on November 2, 2009 | 11 Comments

We all know that everything from chemistry to compatibility come into the picture of defining the “whole package” for most people. Frankly, it’s easy for a dating “guru” or “expert” to suggest that you have to get it all into shape before you’ll be considered ready to date. After all, it brings them business in “fixing you.” Simply put, I don’t agree with the gurus. I think we are all a work in progress our entire lives. If you wait for “perfection,” you’re going to be alone for a long time.

Weight, fat, fitness, health… it’s a component that’s hard to overlook. And I don’t think you should. A lot of times, weight — either over or under optimal — indicates overall health. But not always. Most people are on a continuum between “biggest loser” and “I’ve given up.” The important thing is to be as far away from the “I’ve given up” extreme as possible. The closer you are to overcoming your mental challenges and attitude around weight loss, the more attractive you’re going to be to your date of choice whether you’ve attained “skinny” or not. A “fattitude” can really slow you down.

I’m consistently reading and hearing things like, “If you’re overweight you’ll never find someone good so just eat right, exercise and lose the weight!” Well, from someone who’s dealt with weight issues, there is nothing more frustrating than having a skinny person blithely throw off advice like Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating

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More To Love

Posted on August 6, 2009 | 5 Comments

I’ll admit it, I catch the new reality dating shows when I can find time to sweep through my DVR in-box. These past two weeks of TV have been a bit personally disturbing for one big reason… FOX’s latest Bachelor type spin-off, “More to Love.”

For those of you who missed it (or who use their ancient TV set as a planter/fish bowl,) I’ll recap:

More to Love: 1 husky, 26 year old who prefers “curvy” women + Emme to host + 2 confident and competitive plus sized women daters + 18 weepy, desperate “never been loved because I’m too fat” girls. Any one else think this is going to be a train wreck? Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Finding a Date, Humor, Keeping a Date

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What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back.

Posted on July 14, 2009 | 4 Comments

After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of it all to figure out if its going to stick or not. But what do you do when that person is you and your ex is trying to get you back?

If you’ve been avidly following my blog, you may have seen my post about being friends with the ex. Its possible to have a great friendship, but what happens when your ex starts breaking the “friends only” rules? Here you are, in a good relationship/new relationship/exciting relationship/recovered your mojo phase/etc and up pops your ex with talk about how great the two of you were together, what if you tried one more time… Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Relationship Advice

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Expectations: The Death of Love

Posted on June 16, 2009 | 6 Comments

I had the privilege of hearing the author of “The Shack” speak over the weekend and something he said really hit those — must blog, must blog — chords. He was talking about the forgiveness process inherent in all relationships and the need to extend grace, compassion and forgiveness even when you don’t think someone deserves it and then he swerved a bit and said the following

“If you set an expectation on someone, anything less than that expectation becomes no longer a gift. It is now only what is expected.”

Wow. I know this isn’t rocket science, but for some reason the simplicity of that statement all of the sudden made it extremely clear why expectations make short work of any love relationship. Be it friendship, family or lover. When a relationship becomes based on performance, it is no longer a relationship centered in love. And love is no longer being given as a gift. Its now expected as a given.

Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Playing with Fire Makes for Nasty Burns

Posted on June 11, 2009 | 8 Comments

It started as something a bit naughty and perhaps forbidden. Oh the delight as butterflies danced in your tummy… when to see this delicious specimen of humanity again? Hard to keep your hands off each other. Definitely a challenge to not pass too much emotion right along with that sample of the wine in your glass. Sighs, giggles and lingering looks as you part. Loving the chemistry and excitement. You have no idea why you crave this person so much…

And when you close the door behind you, you know you’ve got to end it. That beyond all shadow of a doubt, this is NOT a good relationship for you. For whatever reason… you don’t have the same beliefs, he can be somewhat mean when your friends aren’t around, she’s dating another guy (and has been — seriously — for years), your kids HATE him, she’s an unrepentant addict, you only like each other when rolling around in the sheets… whatever the reason, you know that you’re spending time with someone who’s not your Mr. or Ms. Right.

You may not be able to explain to your body that you’ve got to end it once and for all, but your mind is all on board.  Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Humor, Personal

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Dating with Intent: Or why isn’t he calling me? (Part 2)

Posted on June 5, 2009 | 5 Comments

Continued from Part 1

Down to the brass tacks. How do you figure out if you and he are in the same place on the commitment meter? Communication helps.

You can be incredibly fortunate and have one of those straight-shooting, man-up kind of guys around. You know the ones… found in the endangered species section of the dating dictionary. They are the guys who tell you from the beginning what they want and why they want to spend time with you. Honestly, I wish for all of you this kind of guy. It makes things so much more drama-free. You can honor his transparency by returning the favor. If you are NOT where he is, you need to tell him that! 

If you aren’t one of the fortunate few dealing with a straight-shooter, here are a few terms and ideas to help you ascertain the dealio: Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Breaking up, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Dating with Intent: Or why is he calling me? (Part 1)

Posted on June 4, 2009 | 4 Comments

Steve Harvey’s new book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” talks about some pretty funny stuff. I’ll admit, I enjoyed the read. Laughed where I was cued to laugh, nodded my head in agreement where I was prompted to agree and held many of my questions/scepticism at bay simply because I was enjoying reading about relationships from his point of view (and was on vacation when I read it.)

In chapter 10, he talks about the 5 questions a woman MUST know before getting too involved with a man. They are good questions. Not exactly what and how I would ask, but the aim behind them is crucial to navigating the complexities of man meets woman: to ferret out the intentions behind why this guy wants to spend time with you. Many of the women I’ve talked to have gotten to where they are quite simply boot shaking scared to Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Breaking up, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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