Tag Archives: respect

Advice to a Bride on Keeping Her Marriage Alive

I went to a lingerie shower over the weekend for one of my favorite people. She is getting married this summer and all of her home girls gathered together for a little spa and bra kind of day. One of our “assignments” was to write her our best piece of advice and read it to her as she opened her presents.

Here are some of the pieces of advice that were given (see if you can guess which one was mine *grin*)

  1. Always give your husband a passionate kiss as he walks out the door for work in the morning. It reminds him what he’s coming home to that night.
  2. Don’t quit having kinky sex!
  3. Love your life.
  4. If you’re having a disagreement or argument, hold each others hands and look into each others eyes. It’s amazing how hard it is to say things you can never take back when you’re doing that.
  5. Don’t go to bed angry.
  6. Record the great memories of your first few years of marriage. There are days in the future when you’ll need the reminders.
  7. Take the time to tell each other what you love about the other person.
  8. The best gift you can give your guy is a great steak dinner followed by a blow job.
  9. Know that when you have kids, you’ll be too tired to have sex. So have lots of it now.
  10. Have fun together!

Do you have any tips to add for the engaged couples out there?

Guest Post: House Flipper… Relationship Fixer

Thanks to one of my fellow bloggers for this guest post. It’s a good thing to learn… that dating to change someone thing… no bueno. Enjoy!

I’m a flipper. A house flipper that is. It’s what I do. I see a diamond in the rough and imagine it with a little spit and polish. Perhaps some new tiles and nice stainless steel appliances. A new roof and trimming up the trees. Ripping out carpet and refinishing some old wood floors.

Yes, I love the process. Making all the decisions to really create a new home for a young family or perhaps a newly married couple. It can really be fun. But to be honest, I like the smaller flips in up and coming neighborhoods. You know why? Well, typically I can get the best bang for my buck on the re-sale. I fix the cosmetic, look for houses that don’t need structural fixes and get really really excited about selling the house and cashing in. Then, I move on to the next.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, last year, I realized that I’ve been flipping relationships. Sound familiar? Continue reading

Getting Rid of a Toxic Ex

Let’s say you are in a happy relationship. Everything is going along swimmingly. Well, everything except for one little issue. There is an ex that just won’t go away. They’ve been asked politely. They’ve been asked not so politely. You’ve heard promises and threats that they never EVER want to talk to you or hear your name again… but you don’t hold your breath because they call… text… email and IM time and time again. It’s a become a problem. An embarrassment. Something you passionately wish would just go away.

And just to be clear right up front, I don’t believe that ALL exes are a problem. I know that some of you do believe that exes aren’t meant to be friends while others of you are friends with all of your exes and take pride in that. Either way, whatever works for you. But this article IS about dealing with the ex that becomes toxic and how to save your relationship from the potential fall out. Continue reading

How to Avoid the “Crazy Chick”

Confusing, man-eating, delicate flowers… yes, I know. Navigating the world of women when you are firmly in the Y chromosome category pose challenges that test the courage of many a man-child. Some men are lucky/smart enough to get a gal pal or two to decode the mysteries. Some men cannily do the research… things like reading good blogs on dating and mating in America or even getting a dating coach. But some poor sods continue to mope over a beer with the guys and bewail recent blunders, innocent mistakes and in short, continuing to make the same mistake again and again. Attracting the crazies.

I decided to crack the door on Pandora’s Box here and give you some tips that may or may not help you navigate away from the man-eating crazy flowers and find a woman who makes your toes curl. In a good way. Continue reading

Relationship Goal Setting

How are your resolutions going? Honestly, I’m not usually a resolute New Years celebrator. I’ve always believed in actively changing what needs changing when it needs changing instead of waiting for the 1st day of a new year. But this year, I had some learning to do. I discovered… “Relationship Goals.” (dunh dunh dunnnnnh)

Hunh. Never really had those before. My boyfriend convinced me that relationship goals were in order. So, we’re in the midst of sorting out what’s mine, his and OURS as far as changes that we intend to embrace. It’s been an interesting week. I’ll leave it at that. But today, we seem to have some clear goals on the table and no one killed anyone else, so I think we’re doing pretty well. Continue reading

Marriage Is NOT Dead

I’m seeing a lot of articles again about how marriage is dead. Dying. Kaput. Dinosauric. I’ll admit, you see stats like this:

According to the Pew survey, 39 percent of Americans say marriage is becoming obsolete. And that sentiment follows U.S. census data released in September that showed marriages hit an all-time low of 52 percent for adults 18 and over.

You may begin to wonder if “THEY” are right. Maybe marriage is dead, obsolete or at the very least passe. But I think you’d be wrong to believe the ubiquitous “they” on this topic.

I don’t think its “marriage” that died. I think it’s our ability to do that thing called “being married” that’s had a series of seizures. Continue reading

Step Away From The Phone and No One Will Get Hurt

“Closeness depends upon this rapidly disappearing phenomenon of undivided attention spread over time,” says Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist and co-author of Married to Distraction. Just think how hard it is to complete a work project amid a stream of interruptions, he says.

“What you give up at work is depth. And what you give up in relationships is intimacy,” Hallowell says.

Hallowell advises clients to quash their Pavlovian response. Go to lunch, take in a nice dinner, and turn the BlackBerry off. Therapist Fritsch tells couples to show each other the same respect they’d give their boss. Continue reading

When Does The “Woo” End?

My friend Roxanne ran into a very interesting dilemma over the weekend. Her boyfriend informed her that he found opening doors for her “exhausting and annoying.” Of course, I had to comment on the blog post she wrote about it and was a bit tongue in cheek when I said, “To me, that he ever opened the door for you in the first place shows that he knew its something that would “woo” you… so why does he want to stop “wooing” you? Is he of the opinion that you are not worth the “woo” anymore?”

To which Roxanne replied Continue reading

Should the Man Always Be On Top?

I was thinking about all the “schools of thought” there are on the “correct” way to “catch” someone or maximize your dating success and it occurred to me… why don’t we just listen to what our heart needs and follow that?

For example, I’ve always had better relationships with men who are willing and enjoy taking a leadership role. Not in a caveman kind of way, but men who follow the school of thought that to lead well is to know how to serve. It just works for me. Opens my heart and spirit to receive more gracefully than if I am forced into a role where I have to make all the decisions or do the pursuing. But that doesn’t mean that it works that way for every girl. Continue reading

Are You Hungry?

I have a confession to make. I was reading along in righteous indignation on this post about a serial meal ticket hunter whose game plan was to raise the ante from drinks to dinner for every date when I realized… wait a minute, I think I might have inadvertently done this myself a time or two. On those nights when I tried to fit in one too many things between work, work out and date — leading me to choose between shower or snack. I’ve definitely been guilty of showing up hungry (but clean) to what was only defined as a “drinks” date. Continue reading