Tag Archives: Pictures

elationships: online romance that never makes it to face to face

Have you ever considered how strange it is to share so much of yourself with someone only to never meet them? I mean, they know your political affiliations, your issues with your parents, work stresses, your latest fun nite out, how many pets you have, what part of the world you live in, where you work, passions, activities…etc.

This post dovetails a bit with yesterday’s post about instamacy in wondering where and when to draw the line between sharing enough to interest someone and sharing so much that you deeply regret a stranger or someone you lost interest in knowing how to find you.

Some practical guidelines for the “elationship” part of your communication:

1. Think about the FACT that this person is someone you have never met. That sweet beauty queen with the flaxen blonde hair could be the huge hairy guy typing away in the next cubical over hoping to lure your latest business idea out of you so he can take it to the boss first. Guideline: Don’t share anything you can’t afford to give away!

2. Use your network of friends and/or Google. Do a little due diligence before agreeing to meet up with someone or share part of yourself that you don’t want the world to know. Ask around just like you would if you met someone out with a group of people. If you have to, use Google to at least make sure they aren’t being indicted for fraud. Guideline: Don’t be lazy… check things out.

3. Remember what I said in #1 about not knowing this person? Apply that same principle to pictures you send to your erelator. You may think you look adorable in that pic with your friends — and so what if they are all obviously high, drunk or half naked — you look great. Be careful because you could get a friend fired or even yourself! You never know who will see those photos! Also…note to those of you who are tempted to send naked pictures of yourself or your body parts… really? How are you going to feel if your little sister sees that picture on her new boyfriend’s computer? Guideline: Just imagine that mom and dad or your boss are going to see whatever picture you send and post accordingly.

4. Try to avoid mentioning specifics about where you live, work and play. If you work at a place like Microsoft or Dell…no big deal. They aren’t going to be able to come by and surprise you very easily. But if you work from home or at a small or public place…not so great if they set up a stalker stand across the street or start doing drive byes of your house to get a more personal feel for your schedule. Guideline: Be smart about what you share… this person could have several restraining orders on file. Do you know for sure?

5. Do you have your address, full birthday, full name, etc listed in public places? Have you shared every last pet peeve, desire, past dating story, interest, etc with your elationship? You are making it really really easy for a scammer to take you for a ride. Guideline: See #4

Most of this is common sense, but try to remember…you may or may not ever meet this person. This person could be completely mis-representing themselves and whatever you have shared is now in that person’s hands. 

If you want to make sure to take the “elationship” to a “relationship” it helps to…

• Keep the momentum going. Respond quickly and regularly and set a first meeting as soon as you are comfortable with how much you know.
• Share what is important to you but leave some to the imagination and for future reveals
• Stay positive and avoid bashing past exes, dwelling on your health issues or gossiping or complaining about everything and everyone in your life
• Be realistic about what you are willing to do. If you have someone on the line from another city or state — are you really willing to make the trip to meet that person or do what it takes to carry on a long distance romance?
• Be honest with your pictures. Please… for the sake of everyone… just be real.
• Have fun.