Tag Archives: patterns

How to Avoid the “Crazy Chick”

Posted on January 12, 2011 | 13 Comments

Confusing, man-eating, delicate flowers… yes, I know. Navigating the world of women when you are firmly in the Y chromosome category pose challenges that test the courage of many a man-child. Some men are lucky/smart enough to get a gal pal or two to decode the mysteries. Some men cannily do the research… things like reading good blogs on dating and mating in America or even getting a dating coach. But some poor sods continue to mope over a beer with the guys and bewail recent blunders, innocent mistakes and in short, continuing to make the same mistake again and again. Attracting the crazies.

I decided to crack the door on Pandora’s Box here and give you some tips that may or may not help you navigate away from the man-eating crazy flowers and find a woman who makes your toes curl. In a good way. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Finding a Date, Humor, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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What Happens in Vegas…

Posted on April 22, 2010 | 1 Comment

Viva Las Vegas! The past 5 days have found me swimming amongst the interesting patrons of our infamous “Sin City.” For those of you who don’t know about this odd personal factoid… this was my first trip to Vegas. Yes, it took me 30+ years and a work edict to get me on a plane and out to the glittering strip of lights, gambling, indoor smoking and pools that have to boast the smallest bikinis seen this side of Miami. I can’t say that I LOVE Vegas now, but I did get a nice bit of color over the weekend. (I do like that my white legs are no longer reflective under fluorescents.)

While navigating this fascinating cross-section of our culture, I ran into the usual assortment of blatant and not so blatant pick up lines. Everything from Continue reading →

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Posted in Dating

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What Happened to the Fun Part of Dating?

Posted on March 26, 2010 | 4 Comments


“Just have fun.”

Simple, right?

Hummm… maybe not so much. For those of us who tend to over-process, analyze and all to often remain in our head when we really should follow our heart… that piece of advice can be one of the first to go in one ear and out the other. Does this sound familiar?

  • All is going along swimmingly when this little negative thought about your date pops into your head. You’re in the first stages of infatuation, so, you brush it off and continue on. Until…
  • It pops up again. This time, it comes with a friend or two. Or perhaps it brings a “heavy” to make sure it gets your attention (a “heavy” in this case sounds something like — that thing he just did totally reminds me of my ex who cheated on me with my roommate. You know, the one comparison that is sure to immediately turn you into a hyper vigilant crazy chick.)
  • And then, like some crazed octo-mom, it starts hatching baby thoughts Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating

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What Exactly Should Be Kept Private?

Posted on March 9, 2010 | 3 Comments

It’s incredibly important to know the limits of what’s okay to share and what’s not okay to share outside of your relationship.

This topic hit my radar when I heard a girl downloading all these intimate details to another girl over lunch the other day. You would not BELIEVE the minutia that this girl went into. That poor guy would be mortified to know that her (I’m presuming) best friend now knew the size of things she probably shouldn’t and exactly what he said to her best friend before he left that night. I’m thinking he would feel a bit violated, and I think he’d be right.

Before you point fingers Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, communication, Dating, Relationship Advice

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Dear Men: Passivity is not your friend

Posted on January 25, 2010 | 24 Comments

After a heart to heart with one of my love-lorn “nice” guy friends this weekend, I thought perhaps a post on the difference between “nice” and “passive” might be worth writing. If you suspect that you’ve confused the two, here’s a kick in the pants from your favorite dating blogger. *grin*

I’m thinking the “nice guys finish last” saying should be changed to ”passive guys finish last.” After all, I know a lot of “nice” guys who do very well with the ladies, but they are definitely not passive. What’s the difference between nice and passive? “Nice” is a way to do unto others and “passive” is an attitude of letting others do unto you.

For American guys, dating is hard work. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Finding a Date, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Why Men Commit

Posted on January 20, 2010 | 8 Comments
One of my readers came across this article asserting that men decide to marry based more on timing than love. Understandably, (after all – this does rock the boat on the whole Cinderella myth) she was a little nonplussed and asked for my POV. Honestly, I’d never really thought about it. I guess I was going along with the “when he finds the right girl” theory, but the article made me question my assumption… so, I asked the guys and this is what they had to say:

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Dating, Keeping a Date, poll, Relationship Advice

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The 4 Types of Online Daters

Posted on December 21, 2009 | 4 Comments

Have you noticed that online dating has become more and more like a trip to the store with a list of items you want? Tall and with hair. Check. Young and perky. Check. Wants children. Check. I’m as guilty as the next person of having a few items that are deal-breakers, but I’ve tried to avoid the shopping list mentality because I’ve seen a really detrimental attitude spring from it… that people are disposable.

A friend recently shared the analogy of online dating being like a trip to the grocery store with a bargain hunter mentality. Pick up one can at the beginning of the aisle and put it into the cart only to drop it off a few steps later for a different brand at a cheaper price. Repeat the process ad nauseum, trading out one “item” for another and ignoring the fact that the cheaper one might leave you with heartburn and indigestion or that you’ve discarded several really good cans of beans along the way.

I think he’s right on the money in his analogy, but how can we avoid treating each other as disposables in the process of trying to find a match? I mean, it’s not like we can date everyone we meet for the rest of our lives. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Online Dating

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Every Time I Let Someone See The “Real” Me… They Leave.

Posted on November 17, 2009 | 2 Comments

Does this sound familiar? You start dating someone, let down your guard and then they disappear?

Yup. It happens. With frightening regularity. It even happens to the “beautiful” people. But if you’re seeing this as a personal pattern, can I suggest here that it’s not you that’s the problem? It’s the fake “you” that keeps hijacking your dating life.

Many daters do it… first few dates are made to showcase the best of the best. It’s like one of those annoying little dog and pony shows… all cute and cuddly with bows and ribbons, prancing and perfect training. You know it’s for show, and you applaud anyway. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Well, the same thing in dating. You show up wearing your cute/lucky/hot/whatever shirt and pull out your favorite conversational gambits, turn on the wattage and shine, shine, shine. But at some point after date 1, you want to let out the real you so you start letting down your guard. Now, here’s where the tricky part comes in… how close to the “real” you was your first date representative? Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Finding a Date, Keeping a Date

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Detoxing From Bad Dating Behaviors

Posted on September 29, 2009 | 2 Comments

Have you been returning to old pastures a bit too often in the quest for your perfect person? Perhaps dating cheater after cheater or “nice but not quite” again and again? Then, you too can try the patented new detox system for worn and weary daters for only $99.99 per month. Known for its effectiveness at stopping old behavior patterns dead in their tracks, this simple one step system can guarantee success or your money back. Call us at 1-800-takeur$ for more information! This offer ends in 30 seconds…

Ok, so, yes… I’m having a bit of fun about a difficult topic. It’s one of the most frustrating issues for most daters… how do I change the type of person I’m attracting? Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Finding a Date

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Vulnerability: How and When Do You Share?

Posted on September 2, 2009 | 4 Comments

My group of friends circled around a dating issue this past week that we’ve all struggled with at one time or another… when do you let down your guard in a relationship? I realized that this may, in fact, be a largely determining factor in what kind of relationships you end up having with your sex of choice.

Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, communication, Dating, Personal, Relationship Advice

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