Tag Archives: lust

Is This Love That I’m Feeling?

Posted on March 3, 2011 | 25 Comments

Love, lust, infatuation, crush? What’s the difference…really? The media debates this love or lust story every day. From the 8 year relationship Waitie Katie endures to the latest of Hef’s blonde conquests… some may wonder, is it love or lust or perhaps a bit of both?

Granted, it’s all individual because who can really tell what’s in someone else’s heart? Maybe Hef really does love rather than lust after his latest blonde bombshell. That aside, I asked an expert for her opinion on how to tell if you’re in love or blinded by lust and she summed it up like this:

“Lust (or infatuation) is all about how YOU make ME feel. It’s inherently selfish in that its about getting instead of giving. Love is the opposite. It’s about giving instead of being focused on what you are getting.”

Do you agree?

Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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How to Avoid the “Crazy Chick”

Posted on January 12, 2011 | 13 Comments

Confusing, man-eating, delicate flowers… yes, I know. Navigating the world of women when you are firmly in the Y chromosome category pose challenges that test the courage of many a man-child. Some men are lucky/smart enough to get a gal pal or two to decode the mysteries. Some men cannily do the research… things like reading good blogs on dating and mating in America or even getting a dating coach. But some poor sods continue to mope over a beer with the guys and bewail recent blunders, innocent mistakes and in short, continuing to make the same mistake again and again. Attracting the crazies.

I decided to crack the door on Pandora’s Box here and give you some tips that may or may not help you navigate away from the man-eating crazy flowers and find a woman who makes your toes curl. In a good way. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Finding a Date, Humor, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser?

Posted on November 29, 2010 | 23 Comments

Let’s set the stage…you’re excited. You waited to kiss her until the 3rd date since you really really like her and wanted to build a little anticipation. After a great night of flirting, little touches, laughter and lingering glances into a very interested second party’s seductively soft green eyes, you quite simply can not WAIT to get to the evening’s finale. The big moment comes at the front door when she tilts her face up to yours… you lean in for the kiss and… Continue reading →

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Posted in Dating, Finding a Date, Humor, Keeping a Date, Personal

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A Great Way To Wreck Your Relationship

Posted on October 26, 2010 | 8 Comments

I read a great post today from a single dad blogger. Alternately cajoling, berating, encouraging and leading by example, Single Dad Laughing reminded men that they have a hand in the erosion of women’s body-image confidence. He points out that even the most self-confident of women can’t help but notice when her man “stops and looks” at another women. Whether magazine, movie or live action version… men look. Women notice. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Romance is Dead! Or Not?

Posted on September 2, 2010 | 3 Comments

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A group of us went to the John Mayer concert the other night. Now, before you judge, he did thank us all for defending him to all the people who call him D*bag and resolutely protecting his honor that he’s not all that bad. And then launched into one of his more famous D*Bag tunes. I’ll admit… it did make me laugh. And I like his music.

On the way home, we were talking about how hard it is to find current music that sends the “romance” message. We literally puzzled over who our modern troubadours are and couldn’t think of anyone really hitting the scene with a truly romantic song. Can you think of any great romantic artists of the last ten years?  Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Buying Into the Fairy Tale Romance

Posted on February 18, 2010 | 2 Comments

In the early 1930′s, someone in Charlie Chaplin’s Hollywood entourage figured out the formula for getting women and men to come see the same story play out time and again… just with different actors. Disney decided to animate the formula and indoctrinate children into the myth a few decades later… Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Lady and the Tramp, Pocahontas, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella… need I go on? The “romantic comedy or dramedy.” In its purest form, it’s a simple formula. Boy+Girl/Meet-Lose-Get.

Despite knowing that movies are not reality, there are a LOT of daters out there who continue to count on the Hollywood version of Boy+Girl in their own lives. Perhaps it’s Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Finding a Date, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Maybe I Really Shouldn’t Have Said That…

Posted on January 11, 2010 | 10 Comments

I’m going to venture into uncharted territory today and make an “all” statement… I think, at one time or another, we’ve ALL opened our mouth and said something we later came to regret.

Even you quiet sorts that I’m always encouraging to communicate and speak your mind, I’m betting that even you have said something you deeply wished you could retract after the fact. (Of course, maybe you became a quiet sort after one of those peppermint flavored shoe experiences…)

Yes, communication is vital. I would say it’s one of the top 3 determining factors in the success or failure of a relationship… be it marriage, dating, friendship, work, family, etc. But part of communication is Continue reading →

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Posted in Dating

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Hooking Up

Posted on October 26, 2009 | 16 Comments

When mom and dad talked about getting a little action, there were baseball analogies and references to above the waist and below the waist. Things were a bit more defined as to the LEVEL of exposure on your date. But today, the ubiquitous term “hooking up” covers everything from kissing on the dance floor to sex on the counter top at home and everything in between. For the listener to get to the gist of the story, they need to really know their friend well or ask “just exactly what do you mean by, ‘we hooked up?’”

Perhaps, instead of defining “hooking up” by how far or how much (since everyone has different opinions of what exactly hooking up entails,) perhaps we could start looking at the term “hooking up” as a way to define what you intend to do about it instead.

As I see it, there are a few categories of “hooking up:” Continue reading →

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Posted in Dating, Humor

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What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back.

Posted on July 14, 2009 | 4 Comments

After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of it all to figure out if its going to stick or not. But what do you do when that person is you and your ex is trying to get you back?

If you’ve been avidly following my blog, you may have seen my post about being friends with the ex. Its possible to have a great friendship, but what happens when your ex starts breaking the “friends only” rules? Here you are, in a good relationship/new relationship/exciting relationship/recovered your mojo phase/etc and up pops your ex with talk about how great the two of you were together, what if you tried one more time… Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Relationship Advice

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Playing with Fire Makes for Nasty Burns

Posted on June 11, 2009 | 8 Comments

It started as something a bit naughty and perhaps forbidden. Oh the delight as butterflies danced in your tummy… when to see this delicious specimen of humanity again? Hard to keep your hands off each other. Definitely a challenge to not pass too much emotion right along with that sample of the wine in your glass. Sighs, giggles and lingering looks as you part. Loving the chemistry and excitement. You have no idea why you crave this person so much…

And when you close the door behind you, you know you’ve got to end it. That beyond all shadow of a doubt, this is NOT a good relationship for you. For whatever reason… you don’t have the same beliefs, he can be somewhat mean when your friends aren’t around, she’s dating another guy (and has been — seriously — for years), your kids HATE him, she’s an unrepentant addict, you only like each other when rolling around in the sheets… whatever the reason, you know that you’re spending time with someone who’s not your Mr. or Ms. Right.

You may not be able to explain to your body that you’ve got to end it once and for all, but your mind is all on board.  Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Humor, Personal

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