Tag Archives: lies

How to Know If You’re The “Other” Woman/Man

Opinions are all over the map when it comes to how much responsibility the “other woman” (or man) has for being in an affair. For essentially providing the outlet for the cheater to cheat. I’ll go on record as saying that I think the “other” woman or man has just as much responsibility as the cheater. There are always reasons and excuses and it’s easy to attempt a dodge in responsibility, but the fact of the matter is… if you know the person you are with is cheating on their significant other, then you are choosing to be with a cheater and essentially give them permission to do the exact same thing to you.

That being said, let’s assume that you are beginning to suspect that you may be the “other” and that is NOT ok with you… here are some rules of thumb for spotting a cheater: Continue reading

Is Googling Someone Considered Stalking?

Recently an intriguing site linked to one of my articlesallwomenstalk.com. At first I thought it read “All women’s talk” and thought… well, I can see the connection there and clicked over. But my interpretation wasn’t quite on the money. The title actually reads “All women stalk.”

Ok, so you have to admit, that’s funny. And while I realize the site is not, in fact, about stalking (as in the illegal kind) I started to wonder… is it true? Do all women stalk? Continue reading

Maybe I Really Shouldn’t Have Said That…

I’m going to venture into uncharted territory today and make an “all” statement… I think, at one time or another, we’ve ALL opened our mouth and said something we later came to regret.

Even you quiet sorts that I’m always encouraging to communicate and speak your mind, I’m betting that even you have said something you deeply wished you could retract after the fact. (Of course, maybe you became a quiet sort after one of those peppermint flavored shoe experiences…)

Yes, communication is vital. I would say it’s one of the top 3 determining factors in the success or failure of a relationship… be it marriage, dating, friendship, work, family, etc. But part of communication is Continue reading

How to Spot Character: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I talk a lot on this blog about character. In fact, I wrote a whole post on the difference between character and integrity that you can check out if you want more info. But I thought that this might actually be a great time of year to re-examine the basics on spotting how important developing good character has been in your significant other’s life.

The Good:

  1. Treats everyone with respect and kindness including waiters, help, difficult family members, boss, co-workers, etc.
  2. Tells the truth even when it’s a hard thing to do or may bring trouble.
  3. Is a man or woman of their word — reliable and trustworthy. If he says he’ll call, he calls. If she says she’ll be there, she’s there.
  4. Speaks well of other people.
  5. Gives credit where credit is due and is able to accept blame if need be while refraining from being defensive about it.
  6. Looks for areas to grow and learn in life.
  7. Consistency between public and private persona.

The Bad: Continue reading

Every Time I Let Someone See The “Real” Me… They Leave.

Does this sound familiar? You start dating someone, let down your guard and then they disappear?

Yup. It happens. With frightening regularity. It even happens to the “beautiful” people. But if you’re seeing this as a personal pattern, can I suggest here that it’s not you that’s the problem? It’s the fake “you” that keeps hijacking your dating life.

Many daters do it… first few dates are made to showcase the best of the best. It’s like one of those annoying little dog and pony shows… all cute and cuddly with bows and ribbons, prancing and perfect training. You know it’s for show, and you applaud anyway. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Well, the same thing in dating. You show up wearing your cute/lucky/hot/whatever shirt and pull out your favorite conversational gambits, turn on the wattage and shine, shine, shine. But at some point after date 1, you want to let out the real you so you start letting down your guard. Now, here’s where the tricky part comes in… how close to the “real” you was your first date representative? Continue reading

Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach

Top 5 Turn Ons

1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well.

2. There is something innately sexy about a confident initiator. The aww-shucks approach about having a friend write your profile or you not being used to this method of dating doesn’t really go as far as a guy who obviously knows online dating isn’t ideal but hey, we’re both here and you’re going to make the most of it by finding our sexy selves online and starting the pursuit.

3. If we think you’re hot, Continue reading

Everybody Lies

While catching up on some of my favorite blogs this weekend, I ran across an interesting comment string about truth and lies in dating. Simone, a NYC dating blogger, related a story about how she discovered that one of her recent dates lied about his age on his online profile. She went ahead with the date anyway, not caring about his actual age (it was well within her parameters) but a little more wary due to the initial lie about it. Assorted follies happened over the next week or two and Mr. Nicepost became a footnote in her blog history before they ever got to the third date.

But, as the comments got rolling, a definite dichotomy in opinion emerged. One side claimed that “everyone lies” so what’s the big deal while the other side Continue reading

Fishbowl Dating: The Affects of Social Media on Relationships

We live in a fishbowl nation.

With the advent of social media and ease of information dissemination, all it takes is a comment, status update or text to seriously torpedo another person’s life. And many times, the commenter goes on their merry way… none the wiser for the detritus left in the wake of one, seemingly innocent, remark or photo. Is it any wonder that gossip continues to Continue reading

The Tweet and Run: Or how to date smart in the world of social networking

Except for the under a rock dwellers, most people have embraced the rules that govern the Googleverse as far as being aware of what a name search will reveal about who you are and what you’ve done. Job seekers strive to create a professional presence through various means and business owners jockey for search placement but many of us seem to be forgetting that people also do personal name searches.

Realistically, I know very few people who don’t Google a potential date these days. There are some who maintain that they want to get to know their date the old fashioned way and refuse to Google until a few dates are under the belt, but for reasons spanning the gamut from safety to curiosity, most people will Google you before they ever meet you. So, what does a name search reveal about you and your attitude towards dating? 

You may scoff and think… nothing! Well, think again. Twitter, Linked In, Friend Feed, Facebook, Myspace, etc. are all beloved by that happy and busy Google search engine, so its time to take a minute and think about how you are not only coming across to a professional contact but also to a potential date.

A few rules of thumb for online image management: Continue reading

A Note To Guys About Helping Your Date Feel Safe

Safety — a huge concern for the modern dater. Most likely, the majority of men have never gone out on a date with a new person thinking that if you aren’t careful you could get raped. But I can promise you that the women you date have either had that thought cross their mind and planned around it or have experienced some bad mamma jamma with men somewhere along the way.

After all, Google just can’t substitute for a community that knew your date when he exited the womb. Its hard to check on a guy’s real background and we’ve all heard the stories of men with families or girlfriends in every city, the date rapist from the online dating site or the perv caught looking in his date’s window after dropping her at home earlier that evening. There are a ton of articles out there for the girls to read about how to be safe, but this post is really directed more towards the guys trying to understand it all.

When you are a trustworthy guy, it can be incredibly frustrating to have a new date shy away from letting you pick her up or agree to going over to your house … I mean, YOU know nothing is going to happen… but she doesn’t. Continue reading