Tag Archives: honesty

How to Avoid the “Crazy Chick”

Posted on January 12, 2011 | 13 Comments

Confusing, man-eating, delicate flowers… yes, I know. Navigating the world of women when you are firmly in the Y chromosome category pose challenges that test the courage of many a man-child. Some men are lucky/smart enough to get a gal pal or two to decode the mysteries. Some men cannily do the research… things like reading good blogs on dating and mating in America or even getting a dating coach. But some poor sods continue to mope over a beer with the guys and bewail recent blunders, innocent mistakes and in short, continuing to make the same mistake again and again. Attracting the crazies.

I decided to crack the door on Pandora’s Box here and give you some tips that may or may not help you navigate away from the man-eating crazy flowers and find a woman who makes your toes curl. In a good way. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Finding a Date, Humor, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Sometimes Being Sick Can Be A Good Thing

Posted on August 23, 2010 | 4 Comments

Sorry I’ve been out of touch this past blog week. A combo of anti-biotic resistant maladies have kept me away from the keyboard and pretty much not in the best place for stringing sentences together. Well, at least sentences that make sense.

But it has illuminated one bright shining example of how life can be different when you’re communicating honestly with the person you’re dating… Continue reading →

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Posted in Personal

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Maybe I Really Shouldn’t Have Said That…

Posted on January 11, 2010 | 10 Comments

I’m going to venture into uncharted territory today and make an “all” statement… I think, at one time or another, we’ve ALL opened our mouth and said something we later came to regret.

Even you quiet sorts that I’m always encouraging to communicate and speak your mind, I’m betting that even you have said something you deeply wished you could retract after the fact. (Of course, maybe you became a quiet sort after one of those peppermint flavored shoe experiences…)

Yes, communication is vital. I would say it’s one of the top 3 determining factors in the success or failure of a relationship… be it marriage, dating, friendship, work, family, etc. But part of communication is Continue reading →

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Posted in Dating

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How to Spot Character: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Posted on December 23, 2009 | 6 Comments

I talk a lot on this blog about character. In fact, I wrote a whole post on the difference between character and integrity that you can check out if you want more info. But I thought that this might actually be a great time of year to re-examine the basics on spotting how important developing good character has been in your significant other’s life.

The Good:

  1. Treats everyone with respect and kindness including waiters, help, difficult family members, boss, co-workers, etc.
  2. Tells the truth even when it’s a hard thing to do or may bring trouble.
  3. Is a man or woman of their word — reliable and trustworthy. If he says he’ll call, he calls. If she says she’ll be there, she’s there.
  4. Speaks well of other people.
  5. Gives credit where credit is due and is able to accept blame if need be while refraining from being defensive about it.
  6. Looks for areas to grow and learn in life.
  7. Consistency between public and private persona.

The Bad: Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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The 4 Types of Online Daters

Posted on December 21, 2009 | 4 Comments

Have you noticed that online dating has become more and more like a trip to the store with a list of items you want? Tall and with hair. Check. Young and perky. Check. Wants children. Check. I’m as guilty as the next person of having a few items that are deal-breakers, but I’ve tried to avoid the shopping list mentality because I’ve seen a really detrimental attitude spring from it… that people are disposable.

A friend recently shared the analogy of online dating being like a trip to the grocery store with a bargain hunter mentality. Pick up one can at the beginning of the aisle and put it into the cart only to drop it off a few steps later for a different brand at a cheaper price. Repeat the process ad nauseum, trading out one “item” for another and ignoring the fact that the cheaper one might leave you with heartburn and indigestion or that you’ve discarded several really good cans of beans along the way.

I think he’s right on the money in his analogy, but how can we avoid treating each other as disposables in the process of trying to find a match? I mean, it’s not like we can date everyone we meet for the rest of our lives. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Online Dating

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Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach

Posted on November 12, 2009 | 6 Comments

Top 5 Turn Ons

1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well.

2. There is something innately sexy about a confident initiator. The aww-shucks approach about having a friend write your profile or you not being used to this method of dating doesn’t really go as far as a guy who obviously knows online dating isn’t ideal but hey, we’re both here and you’re going to make the most of it by finding our sexy selves online and starting the pursuit.

3. If we think you’re hot, Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Guys, Dating, Finding a Date, Online Dating

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Long Distance Romance

Posted on November 11, 2009 | 4 Comments

**In honor of the men and women who are not Veterans YET, I thought I would re-post about Long Distance Relationships since I’m sure that you have more than your fair share of experience in this arena.

Happy Veteran’s Day!**

Long distance romance. Plausible or just a pain?

I’ve been getting lots of requests for a few posts on long distance romance, so lets talk about it.

Some people claim they will go anywhere and do anything for love. Traveling every other weekend to see each other, moving states and jobs, living with a phone in their ear and keyboard under their fingers. Others scoff at the possibility of making it last claiming things like “out of sight, out of mind,” “how can you really get to know someone when you aren’t living close enough to each other to ‘do life’ together,” or even that they might find love at a distance but settle for the person thats closer at hand since life is complicated enough without adding in some improbable relationship into the mix.

So, did you happen to meet someone from another city and don’t know if you can make it work? Were you blissfully bumping along in the same town and then one or the other of you got transferred? Personally, I think anything is possible, but you have to know yourself well to know if long distance is a possibility for you. A long distance relationship (LDR) brings the same set of challenges a local relationship does plus Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Online Dating, Relationship Advice

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Online Profiles: What Not To Do

Posted on September 16, 2009 | 6 Comments

In light of the fact that online dating sites like Match.com are reporting a record number of members, I thought a quick re-cap of what not to do on your online dating profile would be in order:

1. Be Fun! Cynical, pessimistic and skeptical only come across as attractive to like minded folks and the CIA. Listing off what you don’t want only taunts those very people to email you and tell you either (a) why they aren’t that person or (b) why there is nothing wrong with being one of the points on your list. Go with mom’s old axiom here… “If you don’t have anything nice to say… don’t say anything at all.”

2. Speaking of mom…if you’re puzzling on profile picture selection, ask your opposite sex friends for feedback first. After all, mom’s not really your target market. Find out what picture they think not only resembles you but best shows your personality and makes you look H.O.T. (If your “friend” picks a picture with any of #3′s points, ditch said “friend” from your advice pool. ASAP!)

3. On the topic of pictures. The SO NOT HOT list includes the following:

  • bare-chested bathroom mirror self portraits
  • pictures with only bits and pieces of your ex left in the frame
  • pictures with you and a bunch of hooters waitress look-a-likes Continue reading →

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Posted in Dating, Online Dating

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Vulnerability: How and When Do You Share?

Posted on September 2, 2009 | 4 Comments

My group of friends circled around a dating issue this past week that we’ve all struggled with at one time or another… when do you let down your guard in a relationship? I realized that this may, in fact, be a largely determining factor in what kind of relationships you end up having with your sex of choice.

Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, communication, Dating, Personal, Relationship Advice

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What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back.

Posted on July 14, 2009 | 4 Comments

After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of it all to figure out if its going to stick or not. But what do you do when that person is you and your ex is trying to get you back?

If you’ve been avidly following my blog, you may have seen my post about being friends with the ex. Its possible to have a great friendship, but what happens when your ex starts breaking the “friends only” rules? Here you are, in a good relationship/new relationship/exciting relationship/recovered your mojo phase/etc and up pops your ex with talk about how great the two of you were together, what if you tried one more time… Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Relationship Advice

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