Tag Archives: friends

How to Know If You’re The “Other” Woman/Man

Opinions are all over the map when it comes to how much responsibility the “other woman” (or man) has for being in an affair. For essentially providing the outlet for the cheater to cheat. I’ll go on record as saying that I think the “other” woman or man has just as much responsibility as the cheater. There are always reasons and excuses and it’s easy to attempt a dodge in responsibility, but the fact of the matter is… if you know the person you are with is cheating on their significant other, then you are choosing to be with a cheater and essentially give them permission to do the exact same thing to you.

That being said, let’s assume that you are beginning to suspect that you may be the “other” and that is NOT ok with you… here are some rules of thumb for spotting a cheater: Continue reading

How to Avoid the “Crazy Chick”

Confusing, man-eating, delicate flowers… yes, I know. Navigating the world of women when you are firmly in the Y chromosome category pose challenges that test the courage of many a man-child. Some men are lucky/smart enough to get a gal pal or two to decode the mysteries. Some men cannily do the research… things like reading good blogs on dating and mating in America or even getting a dating coach. But some poor sods continue to mope over a beer with the guys and bewail recent blunders, innocent mistakes and in short, continuing to make the same mistake again and again. Attracting the crazies.

I decided to crack the door on Pandora’s Box here and give you some tips that may or may not help you navigate away from the man-eating crazy flowers and find a woman who makes your toes curl. In a good way. Continue reading

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

What do you do when you’re starting to merge lives with your new partner and you figure out that your friends might be a problem?

Either her friends are too materialistic or his friends are overgrown frat boys or both friend groups are great, but not when put together. How can you manage the fall out that may come from mismatched friend sets? Continue reading

The Three Ways To Meet Someone New

A friend sent me an article today titled “The Top 10 Places To Meet Single Men Or Women.” The usual roster ensued… work, school, mutual friends, bar, etc. No surprises there. But it did get me thinking.

You all know I’ve been interviewing singles and asking invasive, personal relationship questions for years, but my all time favorite question ever is “How did you meet?” I ask new couples, I ask married people, I ask divorced people. I even ask people how their parents met. Pretty much, I ask everyone how they met the person they are with, were with or whatever.

My informal poll has revealed the following information… there are really only three ways people meet a potential love interest.

Continue reading

How To Stop Hating Dating

Today, I’ve signed up for torture on the advice of a good friend. Some of you may consider my previous forms of exercise to be torture enough (Rowing, Advanced Pilates, Gyrotonics, Cardio Kickboxing, Core Blast, Wake Boarding, Skiing, Salsa, Swing Dancing, Personal Training, etc.) But I consider almost all of them to be fun. This afternoon, I’ve signed up for a TRX class… and despite the anticipated sore muscles I think it’s going to be great! (even though I’m writing this today in anticipation of not being able to type tomorrow.)

But as I was thinking about the whole resolutions game and getting in shape and being sore and all the crazy things that we do to ourselves in order to become “better” people, it occurred to me that changing the way we date can be just as daunting, time-consuming and muscle fatiguing as training for a new sport.

I mean really… you’ve got everything from stubble burn to heart burn… so, why do we do it? Love, sex, romance… moonlight kisses, beating hearts, butterflies and such? Marriage and family? Perhaps the intimacy of being known and loved for who you are… faults and all. All of the above? None of the above? Continue reading

How To Really Enjoy New Year’s Eve

It’s probably pretty easy to get caught up in wishing a fond (or not so fond) farewell to 2009 and welcoming in 2010 with new resolutions, pant girding parties and all sorts of other mayhem. I’m with you. While I actually had a pretty splendid 2009, I’m looking forward to an even better 2010. Everything feels new and fresh and right out of the box, so I plan to enjoy unwrapping the new year.

New Years Eve always seems to be one of those holidays that can make or break a relationship. I mean, let’s admit it… expectations run high and disappointment can flow deep. Some people who like to celebrate in style are dating or married to people who would rather hunker down with a home cooked meal, fire light and one on one time. It can lead to… issues, resentment, complaints and arguments. But it doesn’t have to… Continue reading

How to Spot Character: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I talk a lot on this blog about character. In fact, I wrote a whole post on the difference between character and integrity that you can check out if you want more info. But I thought that this might actually be a great time of year to re-examine the basics on spotting how important developing good character has been in your significant other’s life.

The Good:

  1. Treats everyone with respect and kindness including waiters, help, difficult family members, boss, co-workers, etc.
  2. Tells the truth even when it’s a hard thing to do or may bring trouble.
  3. Is a man or woman of their word — reliable and trustworthy. If he says he’ll call, he calls. If she says she’ll be there, she’s there.
  4. Speaks well of other people.
  5. Gives credit where credit is due and is able to accept blame if need be while refraining from being defensive about it.
  6. Looks for areas to grow and learn in life.
  7. Consistency between public and private persona.

The Bad: Continue reading

Can You Ever Date a Friend’s Ex?

The question of the day from a reader: How long are you expected to stay loyal to a friend and not date their ex?

Interesting dilemma since both guy and girl code are pretty specific on this one point… Thou shalt NOT date a friend’s ex.

Notwithstanding the incestuous dating groups, most friendships have a hard time weathering the storm of when a current friend becomes interested in an old flame. Consequently, most of the people I know who value their friendships try to avoid the scenario all together. But what do you do when it seems that the statute of possession limitations has honestly run out and you think this guy or girl just might be your ideal drink of water?

Continue reading

Social Media Dating Etiquette

“So, I got this INSANE email from some girl claiming to be his girlfriend on Facebook today…”

Raise your hand if you or a friend have started off a story like that since entering the world of social media. (OK, you can put your hand down now… your co-workers might be wondering…)  A guy friend of mine recently told me about some girl who is mad at him for breaking up with her and is contacting every new person he “friends,” telling them that he’s a womanizer with herpes.

And lest you think it’s all crazy chicks, Continue reading

Turn Right Before You Pass Old Maid Street: Or Desperately Seeking Relationship GPS

I’m not sure about you, but there are times when I really wish I could buy a GPS for dating and relationships. A GPS with the voice of someone like Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan so when it said something like, “I TOLD you to turn left to avoid that super-sized manhole” it wouldn’t seem quite so irritating. (Something about an accent from the UK just adds a warm fuzzy to the punctuation of an American girl’s day.)

I can get a GPS of sorts from various friends, past experience and circumstances… but the guidance feels something like Continue reading