Tag Archives: dealbreakers

How to Avoid the “Crazy Chick”

Confusing, man-eating, delicate flowers… yes, I know. Navigating the world of women when you are firmly in the Y chromosome category pose challenges that test the courage of many a man-child. Some men are lucky/smart enough to get a gal pal or two to decode the mysteries. Some men cannily do the research… things like reading good blogs on dating and mating in America or even getting a dating coach. But some poor sods continue to mope over a beer with the guys and bewail recent blunders, innocent mistakes and in short, continuing to make the same mistake again and again. Attracting the crazies.

I decided to crack the door on Pandora’s Box here and give you some tips that may or may not help you navigate away from the man-eating crazy flowers and find a woman who makes your toes curl. In a good way. Continue reading

What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser?

Let’s set the stage…you’re excited. You waited to kiss her until the 3rd date since you really really like her and wanted to build a little anticipation. After a great night of flirting, little touches, laughter and lingering glances into a very interested second party’s seductively soft green eyes, you quite simply can not WAIT to get to the evening’s finale. The big moment comes at the front door when she tilts her face up to yours… you lean in for the kiss and… Continue reading

Are You Cheap or Frugal?

Ahhh, economic woes. Budgetary cutbacks really bring out the penny pincher in us all. Especially when it comes to the old social life. But how do you know whether your date thinks you’re cheap or frugal? A few simple distinctions may help you stay on the more gracious side of the wallet…

  1. A cheap date values the dollar over a person. A frugal date values the person over the dollar.
  2. Cheap dates are inconsiderate. They skimp on the tip or request that their date order something less expensive. A frugal date takes you somewhere where they know they can afford the bill without cheating the servers or anxiously monitoring your food selection.
  3. Cheap dates think Continue reading

Why Men Commit

One of my readers came across this article asserting that men decide to marry based more on timing than love. Understandably, (after all – this does rock the boat on the whole Cinderella myth) she was a little nonplussed and asked for my POV. Honestly, I’d never really thought about it. I guess I was going along with the “when he finds the right girl” theory, but the article made me question my assumption… so, I asked the guys and this is what they had to say:

Maybe I Really Shouldn’t Have Said That…

I’m going to venture into uncharted territory today and make an “all” statement… I think, at one time or another, we’ve ALL opened our mouth and said something we later came to regret.

Even you quiet sorts that I’m always encouraging to communicate and speak your mind, I’m betting that even you have said something you deeply wished you could retract after the fact. (Of course, maybe you became a quiet sort after one of those peppermint flavored shoe experiences…)

Yes, communication is vital. I would say it’s one of the top 3 determining factors in the success or failure of a relationship… be it marriage, dating, friendship, work, family, etc. But part of communication is Continue reading

How to Spot Character: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I talk a lot on this blog about character. In fact, I wrote a whole post on the difference between character and integrity that you can check out if you want more info. But I thought that this might actually be a great time of year to re-examine the basics on spotting how important developing good character has been in your significant other’s life.

The Good:

  1. Treats everyone with respect and kindness including waiters, help, difficult family members, boss, co-workers, etc.
  2. Tells the truth even when it’s a hard thing to do or may bring trouble.
  3. Is a man or woman of their word — reliable and trustworthy. If he says he’ll call, he calls. If she says she’ll be there, she’s there.
  4. Speaks well of other people.
  5. Gives credit where credit is due and is able to accept blame if need be while refraining from being defensive about it.
  6. Looks for areas to grow and learn in life.
  7. Consistency between public and private persona.

The Bad: Continue reading

The 4 Types of Online Daters

Have you noticed that online dating has become more and more like a trip to the store with a list of items you want? Tall and with hair. Check. Young and perky. Check. Wants children. Check. I’m as guilty as the next person of having a few items that are deal-breakers, but I’ve tried to avoid the shopping list mentality because I’ve seen a really detrimental attitude spring from it… that people are disposable.

A friend recently shared the analogy of online dating being like a trip to the grocery store with a bargain hunter mentality. Pick up one can at the beginning of the aisle and put it into the cart only to drop it off a few steps later for a different brand at a cheaper price. Repeat the process ad nauseum, trading out one “item” for another and ignoring the fact that the cheaper one might leave you with heartburn and indigestion or that you’ve discarded several really good cans of beans along the way.

I think he’s right on the money in his analogy, but how can we avoid treating each other as disposables in the process of trying to find a match? I mean, it’s not like we can date everyone we meet for the rest of our lives. Continue reading

Dating a Dog Lover

I’m a pet person. My dog and I are a bit of an item. Not in the weird, purse dog on a first date kind of way (as you can see, that would be one h*ll of a big purse) but in the, I have a dog, he’s awesome and you’d better like him too kind of way.

For example… if you aren’t a dog owner, you might not realize that the following things are perfectly normal when you date someone who shares life with a dog: Continue reading

Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach

Top 5 Turn Ons

1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well.

2. There is something innately sexy about a confident initiator. The aww-shucks approach about having a friend write your profile or you not being used to this method of dating doesn’t really go as far as a guy who obviously knows online dating isn’t ideal but hey, we’re both here and you’re going to make the most of it by finding our sexy selves online and starting the pursuit.

3. If we think you’re hot, Continue reading

How to be a Great Date with Extra Weight (Part 2)

Earlier this week, I talked about “fattitude” holding you back. Today’s post is all about what happens when you let go of the fattitude and are ready for the next step… going out on dates without your attitude weighing you down.

Men and women are both falling under the weight restriction requirements of our culture these days. Fashion designers have determined that women must be a size 0-4 in order to be considered “beautiful” (and “plus size” is anything over a size 10) and men are supposed to have ripped abs, a gun show and thick hair even into their 60′s. Unfortunately for the other 90% of the population, some of those things weren’t even possible in our early 20′s.

What pop culture doesn’t emphasize is that there are many men and women out there who could care less about weight, hair follicles or ab ripplage. A good guy friend of mine pleaded with me to cover the fact that not every guy looks at women

Continue reading