We live in a fishbowl nation.
With the advent of social media and ease of information dissemination, all it takes is a comment, status update or text to seriously torpedo another person’s life. And many times, the commenter goes on their merry way… none the wiser for the detritus left in the wake of one, seemingly innocent, remark or photo. Is it any wonder that gossip continues to Continue reading
I’ll admit it, I catch the new reality dating shows when I can find time to sweep through my DVR in-box. These past two weeks of TV have been a bit personally disturbing for one big reason… FOX’s latest Bachelor type spin-off, “More to Love.”
For those of you who missed it (or who use their ancient TV set as a planter/fish bowl,) I’ll recap:
More to Love: 1 husky, 26 year old who prefers “curvy” women + Emme to host + 2 confident and competitive plus sized women daters + 18 weepy, desperate “never been loved because I’m too fat” girls. Any one else think this is going to be a train wreck? Continue reading
Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Finding a Date, Humor, Keeping a Date
Tagged acceptance, Culture, curvy, Dating, life, love, men, More To Love, plus size, reality TV, relationships, respect, self esteem, women
According to a survey released by ING Direct on Monday, (don’t ask me why an international bank would be asking questions about romance on a survey… but anyway…) this recession is breaking American hearts. Apparently, we are weathering the storm less gracefully than our romantically inclined counterparts in other countries.
Survey says Continue reading
Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Culture, Dating, Keeping a Date
Tagged America, Breaking up, business journal, Canada, Culture, dealbreakers, economy, France, Germany, gratitude, Humor, ING survey, life, love, marriage, men, online dating, relationships, stress, women
Thanks to the 100+ temps, I decided that it was a movie marathon kind of weekend. A little behind on my chick flick quota for the summer, I pushed “The Ugly Truth” and “The Proposal” into one weekend. I’ll admit, I liked one much, much better than the other, but I thought they both brought up an interesting question… at least from the “Dating in America” P.O.V…
Is your reality creating art or art creating your reality? Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Dating, Humor
Tagged America, art, attraction, chick flick, commitment-phobes, Culture, Hollywood, life, love, men, pattern, reality, relationships, romantic comedy, The Proposal, The Ugly Truth, women
I’m not sure about you, but there are times when I really wish I could buy a GPS for dating and relationships. A GPS with the voice of someone like Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan so when it said something like, “I TOLD you to turn left to avoid that super-sized manhole” it wouldn’t seem quite so irritating. (Something about an accent from the UK just adds a warm fuzzy to the punctuation of an American girl’s day.)
I can get a GPS of sorts from various friends, past experience and circumstances… but the guidance feels something like Continue reading
You’re 38 and never married? Why not? What’s wrong with you?
Can we talk about the age bias we have going on in the dating world? There seems to be an ideal age that one, theoretically, gets hitched in this life. While not official, that window seems to be 27-32. I don’t hear very many folks exclaim that someone is “too young” or ” a bit past due” when they announce nuptials in that age range. But woe betide the 24 year old who decides to marry or the 36 year old who never has married… then you hear comments like the following: Continue reading
Tagged America, bachelor, commitment, Culture, individuality, life, love, marriage, men, old, relationships, weddings, women, young
Except for the under a rock dwellers, most people have embraced the rules that govern the Googleverse as far as being aware of what a name search will reveal about who you are and what you’ve done. Job seekers strive to create a professional presence through various means and business owners jockey for search placement but many of us seem to be forgetting that people also do personal name searches.
Realistically, I know very few people who don’t Google a potential date these days. There are some who maintain that they want to get to know their date the old fashioned way and refuse to Google until a few dates are under the belt, but for reasons spanning the gamut from safety to curiosity, most people will Google you before they ever meet you. So, what does a name search reveal about you and your attitude towards dating?
You may scoff and think… nothing! Well, think again. Twitter, Linked In, Friend Feed, Facebook, Myspace, etc. are all beloved by that happy and busy Google search engine, so its time to take a minute and think about how you are not only coming across to a professional contact but also to a potential date.
A few rules of thumb for online image management: Continue reading
Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, communication, Culture, Dating, Etiquette, Online Dating
Tagged advice, cheating, communication, Culture, dating advice, dealbreakers, Facebook, friend feed, friendster, Google, honesty, lies, life, linked in, match.com, men, myspace, online dating, Pictures, relationships, truth, Twitter, wisdom, women
In the Dark Ages, a code of chivalry sprang up to determine a certain code of conduct for honorable knights. From the Song of Roland, we get a pretty good picture of what kind of behavior was acceptable and demanded from the men of the time… (skipping some of the more combat oriented points)
Sound familiar? Some of those qualities still hold over to today… just with slightly different meanings like, instead of “guard the honor of fellow knights” — “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”
Now, obviously, not many guys were paragons of virtue in that time period. Even the venerable Lancelot fell from grace with his (maybe not so chaste) adoration of Guinevere in the tales of the Round Table. In later centuries, the Knightly code of conduct shifted from a fighting focus to the loving of women.
Since virginity and the protection of the line of inheritance were of paramount importance, many men knew that death would be waiting them for poaching on another man’s wife or daughter… hence courtly love. A sort of idealized veneration of women. The ability to write sonnets in praise of her virtues and the willingness to throw gifts, riches and attention at the woman in question became a highly honored trait, often times gaining men attention or punishment by the nobility if the courtly suitor mis-stepped into the realm of sexual pursuit. (Well, except in the French court… they were too busy perfecting the “french kiss” behind draperies, shrubberies and in stable corners.)
To bring this fascinating historical lesson into the present, Continue reading
Posted in Dating
Tagged America, chivalry, communication, Culture, Dating, dealbreakers, first date, Golden Rule, life, love, men, relationships, respect, women
While in D.C. a few weeks back, Washington Post’s staff writer Monica Hesse approached me for some feedback about the impact of various forms of communication on today’s dater. The finished product hit the wire today.
She quotes me on page 3 talking about how those of us in our 30′s (and in my opinion early 40′s) are hit the hardest with the technology woes of dating due to the fact that some have stuck with traditional communication methods (phone and in-person), some have adopted a hybrid of old and new and others are on the vanguard of all that’s new and shiny (social networking, Twitter, skype, text and the like.) It can be confusing, frustrating and at times detrimental for a dater to stick hard and fast to one form of communication and refuse all comers who don’t adopt that approach. There are some simple guidelines that may help you navigate the flow, but the best rule of thumb is still the Golden one… treat others as you would want to be treated.
By developing flexibility and ease within the different forms of communication, you can Continue reading
We meet the control freaks at work and we can’t do much except to learn to work with them or look for other opportunities. We’ve likely all felt the controlling hand of a parent who can’t let go or a friend who thinks they know better than we do. Some of us are the control freaks who don’t know how or when to let go and some of us just date them.
The difference between a “control freak” and someone who is just really organized and detail oriented? Trying to control the thoughts and actions of friends/family/dates/coworkers and being unable to take a big picture view. Does it really matter that the dishwasher isn’t loaded your way and the towels are folded “wrong?” Does it matter more that he brought you the right color roses or that he brought you roses at all?
Continue reading
Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice
Tagged acceptance, anger, baby steps, Breaking up, communication, control freaks, Culture, Dating, dealbreakers, life, love, men, patterns, perfectionist, relationships, respect, self esteem, women
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