Tag Archives: cheating

He Done You Wrong… So Why Are You Berating Yourself?

Posted on June 14, 2010 | 12 Comments

Guys, I need your input on this one, but let me set it up first…

Boy meets girl. Girl falls for boy. Mutual happiness ensues. Until it doesn’t. Boy does girl wrong. Girl gets furious. Break up happens. Girl beats herself about the head for not preventing what happened/not seeing it coming/etc.

So my question for you guys…do guys blame themselves for not “seeing it coming” when a girl does them wrong?

And girls…why do we do that anyway? After all, no one can control the actions another person decides to take. Yes, there are usually signs to see, but there’s also a reason for the old adage “love makes us blind.” And if we never take the risk to love, then we’ll never experience the transporting joy of loving and being loved. No risk, no reward.

So why isn’t it easier to accept that we all miss the signs from time to time and trust the wrong person? Or that, in reality, no person is perfect and even the people we date or end up with and even ourselves will make mistakes… more than once. *gasp*

Why is it so critical that we find some way to blame ourselves for another person’s bad decision?

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Posted in Breaking up, Dating, Relationship Advice

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Three Steps To Winning a Woman’s Heart

Posted on February 25, 2010 | Leave a comment

Dear Loyal Guy Readers,

I know. Women are confusing. What works for one girl fails horribly with the next and that dang mind-reading expectation… what’s that all about anyway? Well, I can’t help you with the minutia that changes between the blonde you took out last night who thought you were charming and the brunette you’re still trying to mend fences with from last week. But I CAN help you with understanding how to make most women happy. Any woman who does not respond to the following three displays of male interest is either crazy (in which case, exit stage left,) just isn’t that into you OR you totalled the relationship already (in which case, nothing I say is going to help.)

Only three things to remember: Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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How to Spot Character: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Posted on December 23, 2009 | 8 Comments

I talk a lot on this blog about character. In fact, I wrote a whole post on the difference between character and integrity that you can check out if you want more info. But I thought that this might actually be a great time of year to re-examine the basics on spotting how important developing good character has been in your significant other’s life.

The Good:

  1. Treats everyone with respect and kindness including waiters, help, difficult family members, boss, co-workers, etc.
  2. Tells the truth even when it’s a hard thing to do or may bring trouble.
  3. Is a man or woman of their word — reliable and trustworthy. If he says he’ll call, he calls. If she says she’ll be there, she’s there.
  4. Speaks well of other people.
  5. Gives credit where credit is due and is able to accept blame if need be while refraining from being defensive about it.
  6. Looks for areas to grow and learn in life.
  7. Consistency between public and private persona.

The Bad: Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Long Distance Romance

Posted on November 11, 2009 | 4 Comments

**In honor of the men and women who are not Veterans YET, I thought I would re-post about Long Distance Relationships since I’m sure that you have more than your fair share of experience in this arena.

Happy Veteran’s Day!**

Long distance romance. Plausible or just a pain?

I’ve been getting lots of requests for a few posts on long distance romance, so lets talk about it.

Some people claim they will go anywhere and do anything for love. Traveling every other weekend to see each other, moving states and jobs, living with a phone in their ear and keyboard under their fingers. Others scoff at the possibility of making it last claiming things like “out of sight, out of mind,” “how can you really get to know someone when you aren’t living close enough to each other to ‘do life’ together,” or even that they might find love at a distance but settle for the person thats closer at hand since life is complicated enough without adding in some improbable relationship into the mix.

So, did you happen to meet someone from another city and don’t know if you can make it work? Were you blissfully bumping along in the same town and then one or the other of you got transferred? Personally, I think anything is possible, but you have to know yourself well to know if long distance is a possibility for you. A long distance relationship (LDR) brings the same set of challenges a local relationship does plus Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Online Dating, Relationship Advice

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Detoxing From Bad Dating Behaviors

Posted on September 29, 2009 | 2 Comments

Have you been returning to old pastures a bit too often in the quest for your perfect person? Perhaps dating cheater after cheater or “nice but not quite” again and again? Then, you too can try the patented new detox system for worn and weary daters for only $99.99 per month. Known for its effectiveness at stopping old behavior patterns dead in their tracks, this simple one step system can guarantee success or your money back. Call us at 1-800-takeur$ for more information! This offer ends in 30 seconds…

Ok, so, yes… I’m having a bit of fun about a difficult topic. It’s one of the most frustrating issues for most daters… how do I change the type of person I’m attracting? Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Finding a Date

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Social Media Dating Etiquette

Posted on August 19, 2009 | 6 Comments

“So, I got this INSANE email from some girl claiming to be his girlfriend on Facebook today…”

Raise your hand if you or a friend have started off a story like that since entering the world of social media. (OK, you can put your hand down now… your co-workers might be wondering…)  A guy friend of mine recently told me about some girl who is mad at him for breaking up with her and is contacting every new person he “friends,” telling them that he’s a womanizer with herpes.

And lest you think it’s all crazy chicks, Continue reading →

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Posted in communication, Culture, Dating, Etiquette, Online Dating, Relationship Advice

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The “Truth” About Why Men Cheat

Posted on July 23, 2009 | 9 Comments

Cheating, cheating cheating. Why do people do it?

Gary Neuman talks about why men cheat in his book “The Truth About Cheating and What You Can Do to Prevent it.” I’ll admit that I heard about him first when I was looking around www.Oprah.com several months back but haven’t been able to get his assertions on the topic out of my head.

At first I got all bristly at the thought that women should be expected to do something to prevent cheating men… like it was the woman’s fault, but he quickly addresses that issue by clearly stating that a spouse can not control the actions of their mate nor take on responsibility for what their mate does. He then says that according to the men he studied, the number one reason men cheat is due to Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Relationship Advice

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What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back.

Posted on July 14, 2009 | 4 Comments

After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of it all to figure out if its going to stick or not. But what do you do when that person is you and your ex is trying to get you back?

If you’ve been avidly following my blog, you may have seen my post about being friends with the ex. Its possible to have a great friendship, but what happens when your ex starts breaking the “friends only” rules? Here you are, in a good relationship/new relationship/exciting relationship/recovered your mojo phase/etc and up pops your ex with talk about how great the two of you were together, what if you tried one more time… Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Breaking up, Dating, Relationship Advice

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Expectations: The Death of Love

Posted on June 16, 2009 | 6 Comments

I had the privilege of hearing the author of “The Shack” speak over the weekend and something he said really hit those — must blog, must blog — chords. He was talking about the forgiveness process inherent in all relationships and the need to extend grace, compassion and forgiveness even when you don’t think someone deserves it and then he swerved a bit and said the following

“If you set an expectation on someone, anything less than that expectation becomes no longer a gift. It is now only what is expected.”

Wow. I know this isn’t rocket science, but for some reason the simplicity of that statement all of the sudden made it extremely clear why expectations make short work of any love relationship. Be it friendship, family or lover. When a relationship becomes based on performance, it is no longer a relationship centered in love. And love is no longer being given as a gift. Its now expected as a given.

Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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The Tweet and Run: Or how to date smart in the world of social networking

Posted on June 1, 2009 | 3 Comments

Except for the under a rock dwellers, most people have embraced the rules that govern the Googleverse as far as being aware of what a name search will reveal about who you are and what you’ve done. Job seekers strive to create a professional presence through various means and business owners jockey for search placement but many of us seem to be forgetting that people also do personal name searches.

Realistically, I know very few people who don’t Google a potential date these days. There are some who maintain that they want to get to know their date the old fashioned way and refuse to Google until a few dates are under the belt, but for reasons spanning the gamut from safety to curiosity, most people will Google you before they ever meet you. So, what does a name search reveal about you and your attitude towards dating? 

You may scoff and think… nothing! Well, think again. Twitter, Linked In, Friend Feed, Facebook, Myspace, etc. are all beloved by that happy and busy Google search engine, so its time to take a minute and think about how you are not only coming across to a professional contact but also to a potential date.

A few rules of thumb for online image management: Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, communication, Culture, Dating, Etiquette, Online Dating

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