A fifth generation Californian who’s lived and traveled all over the country, I’ve been writing since my first short story ( at age 8 ) published on my parent’s fridge.
They have, since then, realized that small, initial sign of support may have sabotaged later efforts to include their daughter in the family investing business because those pesky, alluring, inviting and intrusive words just keep getting in the way.
Due to the increasing number of amusing stories, conversations and ideas gathered by 20+ years of dating, my friends have finally convinced me to write about it. So here it is, a collection of shared words, thoughts, laughter and tears examining the concept we call “dating.” (no worries to my friends and dates…I’m not one to dredge your stories into the public forum unless we both agree it makes a great story for popular consumption)
If sometimes I meander into talking about cultural differences and similarities, well, it’s a passion that endlessly entwines my examination of the American dating culture so please bear with me and post your own thoughts alongside mine.
And yes, my book about this is well on its way.
Thanks for reading,
Kelli Lawless
17 Comments
July 21, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Kelli,
Just happened across your page by chance, and wanted to say thank you for your posts, found them interesting, informative, funny, direct, and they certainly were relevant when I compared them to my wife and I’s relationship as it has matured. Iw ill check back on occasion to see if you’ve found something else to entertain and educate us poor misguided men!!
Craig
July 21, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Thanks Craig and please post comments or thoughts since those of us singles who are wise, love some good insight from the happily married folks.
August 6, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Kelli,I love your writing style and So informative. You have nailed it to almost the exact reasons why I don’t date and the humorous side of it. Keep writing would love to read more!
September 26, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Okay, now I’ve read some more of your stuff and I’m adding you to my blogroll
January 1, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Hello Kelli, I just came across your blog today and was very much enlighten to know that you are talking openly about the things that most people only whispter about. Kudos.
Robert
January 2, 2009 at 2:58 am
Thank you so much Robert! I love writing and especially love it when it helps people. Here’s to bringing light to the whispered shadows!
January 6, 2009 at 7:52 am
Fun site! I have a question.
Do Minnesota men respond to “The Rules?” I’ve only ever seen transplanted men be proactive here. That goes for my own experiences and for couples I’ve observed. Seems like the men here are very shy and passive, and that they won’t make a move before the woman does. The exception? Men who are on the prowl, married but looking for a little something on the side. Oh, and men who hit on women in business situations, but in those cases, it seems to be more about testing the professional relationship than about dating….
January 6, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Do you live in big city Minnesota or small town? From what I hear, the urban guys tend to be more aggressive — perhaps due to the competition and feeling of “if I don’t ask her, someone else will.” I’d love to hear more about your dating experience in Minn if you want to share. I haven’t gotten to that research for my book yet.
Let me know and I’ll pop an email your way.
March 28, 2009 at 5:55 am
I love your site. Keep it up !
April 23, 2009 at 12:37 am
Hi! you have a nice blog, keep up the good work
April 25, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoy
November 2, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Fatittude = everytime I read another blog I learn a new coined phrase..fatittude = bad attittude towards fat people. Enjoy your writing and even in the Antipodes we can relate to your dtoties depite being devoid of a dating culture
Cheers Thomas
November 24, 2009 at 4:51 pm
hey Kelli,
I love the articles especially the one about dating crazies. I’m now married to a wonderful (non-crazy) women but I have been on the receiving end of dating crazies.
A great place to meet them is internet dating.
First off, I’m a reasonably good looking guy (I like to think), great career & down to earth. I’m not perfect in anyway or do I say that I am.
I went on many dates over the years before I found my wife (surprisingly threw online dating). What I found is that there are code words to help spot out the crazies or lies while reading threw peoples profiles on internet dating sites. We all want a great person but when certain words are stated in a profile there can be different meanings to them.
These code words matched 90% of the women I dated off of the internet. In addition, below are code words for men from my female friends who report 100% of the time they were true.
Woman’s Profiles;
“Goal Oriented” or “motivated in life” = gold digger.
“Loves Kids”=I want to have a baby this year… with you!
“Looking for a relationship”=I want a one night stand.
“religious”=Bible beater/Attend Church 3 times a week.
“Must love my cat’s (plural)=I’m a crazy cat lady with 6 cats. My house smells like pee and Mr. Tayders has to like your voice on the phone before I grant you a date.
“Lawyer”= 99% Evil (there is that 1% who work for non-profits, they might not be evil)
“Fit”=Fat
“A Little Extra”=300lbs
“Fit”=Normal Weight
“Slender”=Anorexic
“Doctor”=I will ask you every health question in the book threw subliminal questions to find out if you are suitable to procreate with in my future.
“Looking for a normal guy”=My ex was crazy so I think I want a normal guy but I really want another crazy boyfriend.
“Well educated”=Plan on debating politics all night.
“looking for another professional”=You need to make more money than me.
“hot cougar”=Newly Divorced. 10 yrs older than stated/horny grandma. Tip; photos are allways 10-15years old. Don’t get sucked in by the posted pic from 1993 when she was hot.
In photos look out for;
-Riding in expensive cars=see “Goal Oriented”
-Brides made photos=2 meaning here. “I want to get married ASAP”. and “I look super hot in this pic but you won’t see my hair look that cute until we get married”.
-Glamour Shots=Glamour Shots went out of business 10 years ago. Enough said.
-Side-head pony tails, Stone washed jeans, Neon clothing=Photos might be old.
-Pics with friends and wine glasses=”I like to show I’m not a stick in the mud all the time and I’m fun”.
-Pics with friends and beer bottles= “I’m a relentless alcoholic”.
-Making funny faces while drinking alcohol=Alcoholic and most likely will go to rehab while you are dating. (my own experience).
I’m sure that allot of these can fit in with the males on match.com as well. Some friends have talked about starting an internet dating horror story webpage.
My female friends would like to ad certain phrases as well for men.
Such as;
“gamer”= If we date, plan on sitting around while I play video games all day. I might also be stoned all day to and unemployed.
“Self Employed”=Unemployed
“Likes to chat on the phone”=stalker
“Looking for someone who takes care of themselves”=Shallow man who only wants a super model when they look more like Jack Black than David Beckham.
“Exercise 5 times a week”=I walk to my mail box 5 times a week.
“Great listener”=I don’t talk much.
“Likes Sports”=Don’t plan on seeing me during football season or you will be forced to paint your face NFL colors to go to the games.
“Clean Cut”=Metro-Sexual. A man who knows more about brands than you.
“Stable”= Ready to find any women to marry yesterday and have kids.
“Fit”=Beer Belly with a large chance of back hair.
“a little extra”=Super fat. A man that eats cheeseburgers for breakfast.
“Lean”=No beer belly but also no six pack.
“friendly”= Serious social or anxiety disorders.
“Loves to Dance”= “I’ll do anything to get down your pants”.
“Loves cats & owns them”=Don’t even bother.
“young at heart”= 10 years older than what they state. Pictures are also 15 years old.
“Social Drinker”=Alcoholic
“open minded”=hopes for a threesome with your roommate for his birthday.
“Charasmatic”=Cartoon-ish, will act idiotic.
In photos look out for;
-The Tux photo=This is the best I’ll ever look. You will not see this.
-In the drivers seat of an exotic sports car=I appear to be the CEO but I’m really the Janitor.
-Multiple photos with kids=Look up “Stable”
-Pics having fun at the bar with buddies=I’m at the bar with my buddies all week long. See “Social Drinker”
-The pic looking the fattest=The skinniest I’ve been in 10 years.
-Mullet pics, muscle pants, neon clothing=These photos are 15 years old. See “young at heart”
Online dating can be a weird cruel world or it can be great.
Matt & Friends
November 30, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Wow… thank you for writing a post for me! I may have to create a new article just around this comment
December 11, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Kelli,
You probably don’t remember me but we dated once or twice about 3 years ago. We met at Musachino and I think it was your first time there. I was so “post divorce” and didn’t know what I was looking for so I never chased you. I have to say that I love your blog. It is so refreshing and open. Hope you are doing well and, oh yeah, I’m not single anymore but if I was…
A new/old fan,
Scott
December 14, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Scott,
Don’t be a stranger!
Of course I remember you! I had no idea you were lurking on here — and what a compliment — thank you. *cheeky grin* I must admit, every time I walked into the doors at Musachino, I sent a fond thought your way for introducing me to one of the best sushi joints in town AND being such a fun/interesting date. (I’m not sure the dates I was on at the time would appreciate that sentiment… so keep it under your hat…)
It sounds like you’ve found someone who makes you happy — glad to hear it
kelli
Kelli
December 17, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Hi Kelli! Great site! I’m an Austinite who will soon be moving to Los Angeles! I’m a datign advice blogger at Kaneisha’s CrazyGirl Nation (http://crazygirlnation.com). Check out my site and see if you are interested in mutually linking to one another!