I’m a flipper. A house flipper that is. It’s what I do. I see a diamond in the rough and imagine it with a little spit and polish. Perhaps some new tiles and nice stainless steel appliances. A new roof and trimming up the trees. Ripping out carpet and refinishing some old wood floors.
Yes, I love the process. Making all the decisions to really create a new home for a young family or perhaps a newly married couple. It can really be fun. But to be honest, I like the smaller flips in up and coming neighborhoods. You know why? Well, typically I can get the best bang for my buck on the re-sale. I fix the cosmetic, look for houses that don’t need structural fixes and get really really excited about selling the house and cashing in. Then, I move on to the next.
Why am I telling you all of this? Well, last year, I realized that I’ve been flipping relationships. Sound familiar? I find a fixer. Make the fixes needed to make that man look great and then realize that it’s not quite the perfect home/man for me and… FLIP. On to the next.
After my last flip, I realized something vital… investing in potential in a house usually pays off. Investing in potential in a man or relationship? Not so much. I don’t know why a guy would object to me wanting to take a bit of spit and polish to him… but they do! And when I am sly about it… they still figure out that I’m investing in potential instead of thinking he is all that and a helium balloon.
To be real, I am tired of fixing. I want to find a guy who is “move in ready.” He already knows what he wants in life. He knows who he is. He doesn’t NEED me to fix anything. He just wants me to be me and him to be him.
So now I need to figure out how to spot the men who don’t need fixing. See… I’m so used to envisioning the pay off once everything is all fixed and I’ve poured my blood, sweat and tears into what others saw as a lost cause. I’m so used to looking for potential that I don’t know how to look at a man already in good shape and see the value in just being able to move in. No fixes necessary.
Perhaps I need to do some fixing on myself first.