Guest Post: Why We Choose Love

Last week, my wife (who is universally regarded as a hard act to follow) used this space and provided an insightful, touching, and thoughtful portrait of the last part of our first year of marriage. We’ve had some hurdles already – I’m not sure I’ve ever had as much asked of me emotionally, physically and mentally as I did for four weeks in March and April.

She wrote that our marriage is successful in part because I am kind, generous and loving. It’s true – I am Or at least I try very hard to be. But she is too – to an extent that I could probably never be, and she makes me a better person because of it. A person better able to both give and receive love. A person more able to reflect her kindness and patience back with my own.

I’ve seen relationships where people tear each other down. They cycle through negativity. A negative thought becomes a negative word, and a negative word begets more negative words, and words become feelings and feelings become habits and those habits become entrenched and then nobody knows how to be happy again.

But just the same, kindness begets kindness, love begets love and positivity creates positive habits. We actively work on that. We decide to be happy. We decide to accept each day as it comes and we choose to find the best in it. It seems so simple, doesn’t it?

But I literally could not do it without her. I couldn’t do it without a partner that is just as dedicated to finding the good in our lives as I am, and the joy of it is that positivity and love don’t just add up, they multiply and create a “bank” for when times are not as easy, and as hard as times may get, you come out the other side

OK. So how do I know we’ll always be together? Because every day we actively choose to be. Every day we add to our positive memories and habits. Every day we talk. And because every day we work on being happy, and as long as we remain committed to those simple things in times good (when it’s easy) and in times bad (when it’s not), there’s nothing we can’t solve.