Normally, I don’t touch fashion advice with a 10-foot pole. I GET fashion advice from my fashionista friends and then apply. Very simple. So, I posted a comment on my Facebook page this week asking for advice on how to dress for Thanksgiving with the boyfriend’s family. (I should clarify — they’ve met me, we’ve done time, so this isn’t a first meeting, but every family has different fashion dictates for every occasion and I needed some advice on this one.)
Some of my more fashion-forward friends provided great tips that I’ve decided to share for your enjoyment and possible use… (girls at the top of the post/guys at the bottom)
Basic tips for a good start:
- Touch ups to take care of: nails, hair, skin, polish shoes, cleaners, clean jewelry, shave, watch battery that works.
- Simple is better. Make sure you are wearing the clothes instead of the clothes wearing you.
- Avoid cleavage, excessive amounts of leg showing above the knee, underwear (or commando) flashing, heavy make-up ala Tammy Faye, overdone hair (think Sarah Palin,) showing your alcoholic tendencies, heavy perfume, using foul language (F* Bombs are only good if you WANT to be rejected from the circle of trust,) referencing your sex life or being ridiculously over/under dressed for the occasion.
A cute coat idea for the season:
- Keep it clean. (Shave, iron, shower)
- Keep it simple. (This isn’t the time to sport your new affinity for man jewelry.)
- Keep it classy (San Diego.) Avoid sex and locker-room talk, flashing the fresh man-scape on your chest and please avoid wearing pants that are too tight in all the wrong areas (leave your skinny jeans at home.)
For the formal occasion… go with classic cuts and colors. Add a dash of panache if you want to express your inner metro-man.
For the more casual occasion… keep it simple with a sweater/t-shirt combo. Pair with jeans or pants and comfortable shoes. (Not tennis shoes or flip-flops unless you’re in SoCal or Florida!)
Keep It Simple
Or go with versatility. This last look can dress up or down for the guy who has no clue what he’s walking in to. The jacket and/or tie can come off for a more casual look. One or both can be left on for a dressier occasion. I would advise a darker wash of jeans just to be less “jean-y” about it. But both light and dark would work. A v-neck sweater could be added under the jacket to add more options!
I’m in love with the off-white coat. Remember to smell lovely and mints in the mouth!!
Good advice! Nothing worse than knocking ‘em dead… with your breath.
I’d argue against wearing clothes that are strongly declarative on a first meeting. But more important than that, I’d say wear a smile.
Smile is key and I’ll agree with STRONGLY declarative… but I do think declarative is good. By expressing individuality — you show that you have an opinion and aren’t afraid to use it. I’ve always heard that, when dressing to impress, conservative is fine — just not bland or unremarkable.
A lawful Kelli, I might agree with, but a lawless Kelly?
you should agree with even more!
If you wear something that they do not like, how is that your problem? I am sure you are not fond of his Grandmother’s brown and yellow sweater with turkeys running around on it.
Have a great holiday!
Blessings,
Ava
xox
LOL — ah — but granny isn’t the one on display for this occasion. (unless her sweater is REALLY really bad
)
Reading things like this make me grateful I’m a lesbian. It’s so much easier! It’s not that I wouldn’t try to look nice for my partner’s family — I would. But there seems to be so much more pressure for straight women.
Interesting… I wouldn’t have thought that.
I would think that it depends on the family dynamic as I’ve had some seriously stressed out pre-holiday lesbian friends because they know that the family is going to be really watching the details if not outright passing judgment. No one wants to care, but I think) somewhere deep inside we all want to make life easier for our partner and most of the time that means reminding the family what great decisions their son/daughter is capable of making when it comes to finding a mate. Silly that dress and first impressions can make or break that initial opinion!
Nice post. I would go with a nice dress that compliments your skin tone and boots with a small heel.
I love the off white coat as well.
Have fun. I always love planning an outfit for going out.
small heel — I knew I forgot something
Just in luck!!! I have a white coat similar to the one in the middle
Now if only I could find it….
LOL… good luck!
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I love this post! I wonder what I should wear for my Thanksgiving dinner here in Port-au-Prince–any Haitian friendly fashion “does and don’ts” I should be aware of? Hmmm–that cute coat you mention may be a little warm for this climate–maybe the wrap dress! Congrats on being freshly pressed!
LOL — thanks! Remember — I am not the fashion diva some of my friends are — but… I would go with material to match the weather and a color to fit the season. Wrap dress, sarong bottom with cute t-shirt top, something flowy and loose… those would all work. Perhaps a statement piece of jewelry and you’re set to go (AND eat all you like at the same time!)
This is such a great post, even for someone who definitely has no mate (:
Thanks — I think it works for any Thanksgiving or Holiday occasion with friends and family as well
Have a great Thanksgiving!
The boots and sweater/jacket combo with plaid skirt is cute.
As for the men, I don’t think just anyone can pull off the suit jacket with jeans look. Careful with that one!
Really? I’ve seen a lot of hotness with that look before. What would you recommend for the more average guy then who needs a little more versatility than just jacket and pants or sweater and jeans?
Just dropping by to say that I really like your blog! It’s really great!
Thanks Krystal! Mason and Liam look like a fun handful!
LOL! They are! They keep me busy-which I love!
I like the skirt & boot look. If you’ve met & spent time before, you’ll be fine. Make sure you are comfortable, that is key. You don’t want to be pulling at your clothes or just plain uncomfortable all day. Have fun.
evelyngarone.com
Great point! I forgot to mention to the busty girls — avoid the button down shirts at all costs! No need for Uncle Henry to be playing peek-a-boo from the seat next to you during dinner!
Love that you have provided advice for the guys as well. I’ll be directing my male friends here.
Gotta help out the guys too!
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We suggest an outfit that is causal, neutral, earthy, not to loud, and not to soft. Perhaps a fresh Bean sweater, with some nicely creased jeans and practical shoes. Something that’s suggests I’m just as comfortable changing the oil and tossing fresh logs on the fireplace, as I am in a boardroom or on red carpet greeting line international leaders. Something you won’t mind getting messy when it’s time to clean up after the meal of course, while the men retire to the TV room to watch sports and talk about the weather.
Good Luck!
Well, aside from my aversion to creased jeans and the assumption that men get to retire to relax while other people finish the cleaning — I think you have a good suggestion for the folks that are hitting the more casual of family feasts.
Gosh, just don’t overdress!! I did when I first met my husband’s family! Now every time they see me now, they think i’m under-dressed.
LOL. Over-dressing and under-dressing are the worst and usually it’s hard to figure out if you’re going to be in either camp b/c most guys don’t pay a huge amount of attention to what the female side of the family will be wearing! Note for the guys — if you don’t know what to tell your girl when it comes to level of dress… call mom or a sister and discretely ask!
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In addition to no cleavage, make sure there’s no butt cleavage…it happens to me all the time, I think I am conservatively dressed with black pants and a top that covers everything, but given how low pants seem to be cut nowadays, I lean forward for a second helping of turkey, and my underpants are showing!
Great point! I run into the problem in airports most often… bending down to pick up suitcase… lifting up to put carry on in overhead… both involve much danger of flashing with the low-cut rises. I never thought of leaning over to get more food! Awesome.
unless your bf’s fam has certain wardrobe traditions, wear what you would with your family…they should be able to accept that.
http://dearexgirlfriend.com/
your blog is hilarious. What would you wear to a Vedder family occasion if you hadn’t broken up??
I didn’t think a style guide was necessary for Thanksgiving. I always make sure I’ve got on trousers with a little give.
Ah well… this post is for the general holiday season. I’m with you on wearing clothes with a little give
I am so glad not to be ‘there’ anymore. My family is pretty casual but if I was going where it was more formal, I would be in trouble. Good luck with your outfit tomorrow.
thanks
it went well!
if you are going to eat a lot on thanksgiving prepare yourself with some jogging pants
if not then its always nice to go casual unless your family is royalty.
http://enjoibeing.wordpress.com/
Brilliant tips, though we don’t do thanksgiving here in England, I’ll take these tips for other occasions – like Christmas!
Perfect! Enjoy
Sounds like your the new fashionista, maybe your friends should come to you for advice now.
Best to you for following your passions in life, may we all do the same:
http://bigbangbang.wordpress.com/2010/11/24/quality-of-life-a-guide-to-live-the-life-of-your-dreams/
Much love,
Shan
LOL — well thanks but they had a really hard time believing I posted this at all… even with their help
Love the first pic. Very Audrey Hepburn. (Like the red plaid skirt, too. Retro, but still chic and flirty.)
Have a great holiday!
I know! That first picture is so cute! If I had a waist like that… you’d better believe I’d dress like that!
Love the off-white coats! I have a similar coat only it’s brown. As well as the tips you stated, I think smiling and chewing on mints (or at least brushing your teeth very, very well) are also a must.
so tell me more about you
Agreed!
Casual and comfortable…yet stylish. Enough said.
It’s AUTUMN. IT’s THANKSGIVING.
wear BROWNS with a splash of color- if you want to be elegant and full of class!
I used to think nothing said BLAH louder than brown- UNTIL i added some lace…
CONVERSATION STARTERS (or savers): interesting jewelery- a PIN, aka brooch/pendant!
If your his girl, dress like a lady.
brown can be beautiful — there are so many rich shades. good advice! thanks!
This is the coolest post.. Happy Holidays
thanks! you as well!
This has made my life sooo much easier. I am going round my boyfriends for a christmas meal and now I know what to wear
Thanks!X
Good luck! Have fun!
is the first image of you? (the one with the balloons) I LOVE the dress!!!(and jacket) i couldnt tell.
great entry
xx
I wish it was! Terribly cute!
It really is a challenge to balance the dating ‘person’ and the real ‘person’ while still laughing at the families jokes. Tough call sometimes–
LOL — yes… sometimes there is quite the challenge choosing between appropriate, polite and real.
Without all your invaluable advice I’d be going about naked! Good job. Now tell us about home baking
If there is anything in my arsenal worse than fashion… it would be cooking!
wow – I want to dress my twenty-something son in that ‘oatmeal’ sweater and white t. Though they aren’t big on me dressing them.
LOL — I’m a fan of that ensemble as well. Did you anon. fwd. the post instead?
> Avoid cleavage
Awwww….c’mon!
Hummm… if your last name wasn’t on this, I wouldn’t have laughed so hard when I read it…
Great tips!!!!
Advice for men: have your girlfriend steal her father’s favorite tie in advance…wear that. When Dad compliments you on your taste act surprised…”oh! really, you have the same tie?” “Synchronicity runs in my family…” This will open up a whole avenue of conversation through metaphysics, philosophy and the occult. Either have your girlfriend replace the tie or if you decide to keep it…if Dad tells you at some later point that his seems to be gone…say: “oh! that’s so sad…would you like mine..” You’ll be a legend in the family for generations whether you marry in or not…”
Wow — now, THAT is some memorable advice! Did you try this one yourself?
I love this post!
I will definitely keep it simple and proper
Great tips! First impression is always important!
How did it go?
Good post.
Unfortunately, first impressions do matter, especially when meeting the family for the first time.
You want to make a good impression, but don’t lose yourself in order to make them happy. Be yourself. If they have a difficult time with you, then there’s work to do to bridge the gap between their expectation s and the reality of who you are. However, never compromise yourself to please someone else.
Happy holidays.
Great advice! I could write a whole other post on the less surface side of meeting the family for the first time… its a dance with boundaries, being genuine and holding your tongue if need be *grin*
What do you think? Best piece of advice other than “be yourself?”
Oooh…love the look for guys in denim. That way, you can always feel dressed up, but totally become comfortable with the deletion of the jacket. Great post! Congrats on FP!
Thanks! It always seems to me that jeans are a staple — but that could be because I have lived in so many cities where that’s the case. I have to remember that not everyone lives in denim
lots of fun to read and very informative! I love the white coat you pictured and the jewlery ideas, awesome post!
http://newzealandbakerdreamer.wordpress.com/
Thanks! Do you live in NZ or just dream about it?
Love the tips and especially the black blazer/top, red skirt and boot look. Definitely agree with Loch with dressing the way you are comfortable with – and obviously at a budget you can afford. If his parents don’t like the fact you aren’t dolled up in BCBG/Burberry, then they got something else coming…
I can’t think of many families that would expect designer dressing… but neat, simple and classy are usually enough to create a winner for first (and second, third…) meet n greets.
Save yourself some frustration: Don’t go at all
Evil
http://www.evilcyber.com/
nice! I suppose that would make it easier to stick to a low carb/low GI life too
fashion so cool! I like the style in the last photo, it seems appropriate to me!
glad you like!
Agree! Be comfortable, but stylish of course. There’s nothing worse than someone who keeps on having to fix/tug their shirt our skirt, you’ll drive yourself and others crazy!
you are so right… nothing worse than the fidgets to ruin a comfortable vibe!
Ah, I remember those days. Very stressful! Now, 4 years after being married I show up to my in-laws house for Thanksgiving wearing yoga pants, a plain sweater, no make-up, and two buns in my hair. That’s just the way I like it! No need to impress, no worries that I’m being judged. And we all just relax
Better then if I was with my own huge family!
Two buns ala Princess Leia?
I never could carry off that look. Braids, yes. Buns, no.
Wear what you feel comfortable in. Wear casual and follow your own dress code. Bring a great mood and wear a beautiful smile. No designer clothing or handbag could ever compete to that.
If you are usually the jeans and t-shirt type, wearing a fancy dress wouldn’t be you and the other people around you will eventually notice that.
Great moods and smiles can certainly carry the day
I think wearing a blazer is always a good way to go for both women and men. Depending on occasion you can if you’re a woman wear with a dress or skirt or dressed up trousers for a more formal look, and jeans and a top for a more dreesed down but still proper look. If you’re a man wearing blazer to a shirt with either formal trousers or jeans is to always look 100% handsome. I<3Blazers
I <3 blazers too!
i think you are pretty much safe with a cute sweater or shirt with a cardigan. classy and comfortable and either can be dressed up with jewlery or the right shoes.
DO A KATE MIDDLETON!!
it works every time
:)
check out my blog!!
http://futureartscene.wordpress.com/
lovess
xxxx
marry a prince? i think a lot of girls are dreaming about that one. The land of make-believe is a popular place. *grin* Love the blog!
Congrats on being freshly pressed. I found this quite helpful! Thanks.
http://gbengaawomodu.wordpress.com
Thanks!
a gawn
Seen pretty with dres red.. I also liked with jewlery
I love your tips! they really helped me
thanks
I’m glad! What did you end up wearing?
Oh my god ! What a pretty woman !!!!! ys
Good advice! I am definitely a fan of keeping it simple. Hope you had a fabulous Thanksgiving!
Thanks! Augusta is beautiful this time of year — hope you enjoyed!
(think Sarah Palin) <– haha(: .. fashion becomes comical
http://ummyeahah.wordpress.com/ my blog isn't fashionable, but..
delete your problems — nice! Kind of like keeping your mind on the good stuff instead of dwelling on the bad. I agree with you… delete the baggage
This is great!
I’ve always been really nervous about the whole “meeting the parents” thing, and this definitely makes at least ONE aspect of that a little less intimidating. Thank you! Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one!
Do you have a meet the parents coming up?
I LOVE the coat! Too bad it probably wouldn’t be appropriate to keep it on during dinner..
Any ideas for hair? Up seems fancy but down seems real – which is best for a first time meet?
http://www.dominojames.wordpress.com
I’m a fan of down and simple unless you are channeling your inner sheepdog. If so — maybe a clip to free up your face?
BTW — love your last post. Knowing how to roll with the punches is one of those crucial life skills we all need to cultivate!
just wear whatever suites you comfortable,and be true to yourself.
Nice post! I also find that polos and dark jeans for men can work for most any occasions. Congrats of being FP!
violainthekitchen.wordpress.com
Congrats to you too! I’ll admit, I was a bit overwhelmed at the sudden outpouring of comments and views… but figured just keep posting ’cause the writing and community is the fun part of keeping a blog
I love love the red dress that Reese Witherspoon is wearing!
I love it too — a friend of mine found the picture and I had to use it!
Good advice for both boys and girls.
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Great. I was hoping to see a ‘post-meet’ photo so that we could rate the final decision. My ‘meet the inlaws’ scenario usually comes down to which language should I attempt. They don’t speak English so I am usually left struggling with my Dutch or very very basic German.
Jamie
LOL — it came down to a red wrap sweater and black slacks. Not as stuff-the-belly friendly as I would have liked — but it worked
As for Dutch vs. German… good luck with that! Can your wife translate?
Certainly sounds like good advice for any extended family occasion.
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I know this may not be very helpful..but you are the best one to judge what your ‘in-laws’ would appreciate, probably you can tell by what they usually wear themselves (are they classy? casual? elegant? formal?). Most of all I say you should wear something comfortable that makes you feel like ‘yourself’ at your best!
Amen! “Yourself at your best” — I could have distilled the whole post into that one sentence
very classy and do-able! great advice
General fashion question: are khakis out? I see them on shelves but not so much on people anymore. That would be fine by me, I’m getting sick of ironing them all the time anyway.
Amen! “Yourself at your best” — I could have distilled the whole post into that one sentence