Monthly Archives: November 2010

What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser?

Posted on November 29, 2010 | 23 Comments

Let’s set the stage…you’re excited. You waited to kiss her until the 3rd date since you really really like her and wanted to build a little anticipation. After a great night of flirting, little touches, laughter and lingering glances into a very interested second party’s seductively soft green eyes, you quite simply can not WAIT to get to the evening’s finale. The big moment comes at the front door when she tilts her face up to yours… you lean in for the kiss and… Continue reading →

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Posted in Dating, Finding a Date, Humor, Keeping a Date, Personal

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Help! What To Wear To Meet The Family?

Posted on November 23, 2010 | 129 Comments

Normally, I don’t touch fashion advice with a 10-foot pole. I GET fashion advice from my fashionista friends and then apply. Very simple. So, I posted a comment on my Facebook page this week asking for advice on how to dress for Thanksgiving with the boyfriend’s family. (I should clarify — they’ve met me, we’ve done time, so this isn’t a first meeting, but every family has different fashion dictates for every occasion and I needed some advice on this one.)

Some of my more fashion-forward friends provided great tips that I’ve decided to share for your enjoyment and possible use… (girls at the top of the post/guys at the bottom)

Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Etiquette, Relationship Advice

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Why Eye Contact May Save Your Relationship

Posted on November 18, 2010 | 12 Comments

Picture this. You spend quite a lot of time with your partner. In fact, you see him/her every night or just about. You may be married, living together or dating but whatever the label, your significant other is the person you spend the most time with in the world.

Now imagine, you go to dinner one night and your partner leans in to tell you something VERY serious. She pushes her plate out-of-the-way and leans in, looking you eye to eye and says ” I feel like we don’t spend any quality time together.”

There is a moment of disbelief and then you think… she’s kidding… right? Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Personal, Relationship Advice

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Desperately Seeking Average

Posted on November 17, 2010 | 20 Comments

My apologies to anyone who considers themselves “average.” Please know that I completely respect your goals and dreams in life…be they average or … well, ok, I admit it… I’m lying when I say that. I have a hard time respecting “average” as a life goal. Why?

I have an aversion to the word “average” being applied to people. (It’s similar to my abhorrence of the word “normal” but that is a completely different blog topic.) It baffled me the other day when a friend of mine said “I’m just an average guy looking for Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Finding a Date, Personal, Relationship Advice

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Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken.

Posted on November 10, 2010 | 11 Comments

You know how it feels to be alone in a room of people who don’t understand you? Well, imagine feeling that way in a relationship with someone you love and are afraid to lose by showing them who you really are. You’re with someone but still alone. And the sad thing is… the other person usually doesn’t even know it.

The fear of rejection is a powerful motivating factor in a lot of dating behavior. We wait to dance the skeletons out of the closet. We reveal something that makes us vulnerable and then retreat behind the Great Wall of Silence in an attempt to regain our “cool.” But our own rejection of ourselves (our past, our fears, our future possibilities) is really the foundation being laid for the people we date to reject us when the real “me” decides to show up.

I’ve heard a lot of people retort that when they do bring their “real” self into the relationship, the other person Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

What You Call Yourself Matters: Labels That May Be Limiting You

Posted on November 4, 2010 | 4 Comments
www.BoxHumana.com

www.BoxHumana.com

  • “Commitment-phobe”
  • “Picky”
  • “Player”
  • “Clingy” or “Needy”
  • “Unlovable”
  • “Not old/young/curvy/thin/smart/funny/rich/______ enough”

Have you ever used any of the above to describe yourself or your dating actions? My friend emailed me about being 5 years cancer free and mentioned that she had now reached the “moving on” part of the program. As I responded with joy about her victory, I also shared one of the healing challenges I experienced while processing a childhood trauma as an adult. I told her that one of the hardest

www.BoxHumana.com

parts of my recovery was learning to not label myself based on what had defined me in the past.

I realized that as long as I continued to bring focus to something that had previously anchored me down, I was, in essence, picking up that anchor and carrying it with me into the present. By letting go of the old labels, I learned how to live free of the limitations from my past.

Labels — such expedient little devices. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Finding a Date, Keeping a Date

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Step Away From The Phone and No One Will Get Hurt

Posted on November 2, 2010 | 2 Comments

“Closeness depends upon this rapidly disappearing phenomenon of undivided attention spread over time,” says Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist and co-author of Married to Distraction. Just think how hard it is to complete a work project amid a stream of interruptions, he says.

“What you give up at work is depth. And what you give up in relationships is intimacy,” Hallowell says.

Hallowell advises clients to quash their Pavlovian response. Go to lunch, take in a nice dinner, and turn the BlackBerry off. Therapist Fritsch tells couples to show each other the same respect they’d give their boss. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, communication, Dating, Humor, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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