Monthly Archives: October 2010

A Great Way To Wreck Your Relationship

Posted on October 26, 2010 | 8 Comments

I read a great post today from a single dad blogger. Alternately cajoling, berating, encouraging and leading by example, Single Dad Laughing reminded men that they have a hand in the erosion of women’s body-image confidence. He points out that even the most self-confident of women can’t help but notice when her man “stops and looks” at another women. Whether magazine, movie or live action version… men look. Women notice. Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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Four Ways To Be A Strong Leader (in your relationship)

Posted on October 18, 2010 | 4 Comments

Tony Schwartz/Fast Company posted a great blog on the “Four Capacities Every Great Leader Needs” and as I read it, it occurred to me that these qualities not only apply to business, they apply to relationships as well…

Pretty simple, they pack a punch:

 

 

  1. Great leaders recognize strengths in us that we don’t always yet fully see in ourselves.
  2. Rather than simply trying to get more out of us, great leaders seek to understand and meet our needs, above all a compelling mission beyond our immediate self-interest, or theirs.
  3. Great leaders take the time to clearly define what success looks like, and then empower and trust us to figure out the best way to achieve it.
  4. The best of all leaders — a tiny fraction — have the capacity to embrace their own opposites, most notably vulnerability alongside strength, and confidence balanced by humility.

So, how are you doing? Are you recognizing strengths in your partner or focusing on all the stuff they need to improve? Are you seeking to meet the needs of your relationship or focusing instead on your own? Have you defined what success looks like for your relationship or are you just kinda going with the flow? And, perhaps most importantly, have you learned to embrace the things about your partner that are different or opposite of yourself?

What do you think? Are you being a “great leader” in your relationship? And if you aren’t in a “relationship,” what kind of leader are you learning to be?

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice

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I Was Just Kidding!

Posted on October 11, 2010 | 2 Comments

I grew up in a family of zingers. We zinged at fork point for emphasis. We zinged going up stairs. We zinged while driving in cars. We zinged while sitting in chairs.

All in all, we had a zinging good time. And then I went to college in the South (capitalized on purpose.) Quickly established my zinging skills and just as quickly found myself in a shrinking circle of friends. Being the astute social observer that I can be, I shut up. I sat back. I started really listening. I learned that zinging is NOT considered high wit in the South. In fact, it’s widely considered in poor taste by most Southern Gents and Belles to purposely make someone else appear foolish in front of their peers. (Unless you are adding “Bless her heart” to the end of your statement… but that is another story entirely.)

I had to stop zinging? Really? Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, communication, Dating, Humor, Relationship Advice

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How To Survive The Holidays With Your New Significant Other

Posted on October 7, 2010 | 4 Comments

Holiday survival kit:

Items needed are as follows…

  • Several cups of good cheer (small bottles pack better)
  • One “free pass” in case of foot in mouth syndrome
  • One “free pass” for laughing at an embarrassing family story or baby picture
  • Code word for get me the h*ll out of here now
  • Decoder ring for spotting signs of social or emotional fatigue
  • Cheat sheet of all topics to avoid at the dinner table with the family (small enough to tape to side of dinner glass)
  • File of waterproofed family customs in case of emergency (hide in guest room toilet)
  • Family Tree complete with names, pictures and relations to study during travel
  • Coordinated communication on just how you met, what your plans are for the future, where you are staying while visiting (if it’s not obvious) and if you live together or not
  • Gassed up car to make a quick get away if needed

Holiday survival plan: Continue reading →

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Posted in Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Relationship Advice

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