My friend Roxanne ran into a very interesting dilemma over the weekend. Her boyfriend informed her that he found opening doors for her “exhausting and annoying.” Of course, I had to comment on the blog post she wrote about it and was a bit tongue in cheek when I said, “To me, that he ever opened the door for you in the first place shows that he knew its something that would “woo” you… so why does he want to stop “wooing” you? Is he of the opinion that you are not worth the “woo” anymore?”
To which Roxanne replied and sliced right to the point (one of the things I love about her) … “I have a feeling men do what they think they are supposed to “Get the girl.” And maybe there should be a class on “how to get the girl” should warn them that if they start something for the sake of wooing, they might get a little flack when they stop the wooing.”
It brings up an interesting discussion. Is it ever okay to stop the “woo?” And what should both parties expect if and when that happens?
Personally, I would feel a bit bait and switched if I was happily dating a guy and when we got married, he turned into a different person. I would think he would feel the same way if I decided to stop shaving my legs, looking cute on date nights and flirting with him throughout the week because I found it “exhausting and annoying.”
I’m a firm believer in the old adage… “What you do to GET someone is what you have to do to KEEP them.” I’ve talked about it before on my blog, how important consistency, respect and communication are. But what do you think? Is it just a matter of course that the relationship is going to change over time in the area of romance and respect (and not for the better?)
Are women expected to be okay with woo stoppage? Is it really exhausting and annoying to woo someone long-term? Thoughts?
(And really — I don’t think Roxanne’s boyfriend is a bad person or boyfriend — after all — he was honest with her and actually discussed what he was really feeling. It just brought up an interesting topic and his words are too provocative to not use! *grin*)