Our culture makes it pretty easy to focus on the problems. The issues. The deal-breakers and red flags. After all, critics decide where we go to eat and what movies we want to see. Parents teach children to watch out for the car that could hit you instead of why it’s fun to stay on the sidewalk. The news drones day in and day out about all the issues deemed newsworthy in our country, state, city… and usually, it’s all pretty bleak. Even Eharmony insists that you decide what your top 10 “can’t stands” are in order for you to send along your top 10 “must haves.”
I’m wondering if perhaps this consistent perusal of the negative unduly influences our dating and mating patterns. What would happen if we came home from a date or time with our partner and focused on all the great stuff that happened instead of the poor service at the restaurant or his lack of chivalry when it came to opening your door? After all… most people think the falling in love part is the most exciting time in a relationship and what do you do more when you are falling for someone than focus on all the positive things you love about that person?
Perhaps changing your focus would change the kind of people attracted to you. I’m not suggesting that you go from Chicken Little to Pollyanna, but maybe just a tweak or two in the stories you love to share, the way you recap a date for your friends or in how you think about your ex. Think about how it sounds when you go on and on about your crazy ex… I mean, after all, YOU decided to date/marry the crazy person you’re telling stories about. So what does that say about you?
There is one thing for certain about positive people… positive people like to be surrounded by those who support vision and dreams, not the ones who focus on the problems, issues and “yes, buts” of the day.
The secret to finding and dating positive people? Be one yourself.
I concur. Yes, in a society and culture where there is so much stuff swirling around in the media, it can definitely beat a person down. Making a choice to be positive based on a decision, and not feelings from what’s happening in one’s circumstances and environment will go a long way in connecting and potentially attracting a positive person in your life.
Another elements is focus on the person you are with. The crazy folks once dated are in the past. The person you have in front of you is your Divine Appointment To Edify (DATE) that can yield future opportunities with that individual. Future opportunities are all dependent upon you to choose how you will come across. A new opportunity and the choice to be positive will help you shake off those old clothes of doubt and insecurity to move forward and enjoy those future relationship possibilities.