Monthly Archives: November 2009

Dating a Dog Lover

I’m a pet person. My dog and I are a bit of an item. Not in the weird, purse dog on a first date kind of way (as you can see, that would be one h*ll of a big purse) but in the, I have a dog, he’s awesome and you’d better like him too kind of way.

For example… if you aren’t a dog owner, you might not realize that the following things are perfectly normal when you date someone who shares life with a dog: Continue reading

Every Time I Let Someone See The “Real” Me… They Leave.

Does this sound familiar? You start dating someone, let down your guard and then they disappear?

Yup. It happens. With frightening regularity. It even happens to the “beautiful” people. But if you’re seeing this as a personal pattern, can I suggest here that it’s not you that’s the problem? It’s the fake “you” that keeps hijacking your dating life.

Many daters do it… first few dates are made to showcase the best of the best. It’s like one of those annoying little dog and pony shows… all cute and cuddly with bows and ribbons, prancing and perfect training. You know it’s for show, and you applaud anyway. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Well, the same thing in dating. You show up wearing your cute/lucky/hot/whatever shirt and pull out your favorite conversational gambits, turn on the wattage and shine, shine, shine. But at some point after date 1, you want to let out the real you so you start letting down your guard. Now, here’s where the tricky part comes in… how close to the “real” you was your first date representative? Continue reading

Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach

Top 5 Turn Ons

1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well.

2. There is something innately sexy about a confident initiator. The aww-shucks approach about having a friend write your profile or you not being used to this method of dating doesn’t really go as far as a guy who obviously knows online dating isn’t ideal but hey, we’re both here and you’re going to make the most of it by finding our sexy selves online and starting the pursuit.

3. If we think you’re hot, Continue reading

Long Distance Romance

**In honor of the men and women who are not Veterans YET, I thought I would re-post about Long Distance Relationships since I’m sure that you have more than your fair share of experience in this arena.

Happy Veteran’s Day!**

Long distance romance. Plausible or just a pain?

I’ve been getting lots of requests for a few posts on long distance romance, so lets talk about it.

Some people claim they will go anywhere and do anything for love. Traveling every other weekend to see each other, moving states and jobs, living with a phone in their ear and keyboard under their fingers. Others scoff at the possibility of making it last claiming things like “out of sight, out of mind,” “how can you really get to know someone when you aren’t living close enough to each other to ‘do life’ together,” or even that they might find love at a distance but settle for the person thats closer at hand since life is complicated enough without adding in some improbable relationship into the mix.

So, did you happen to meet someone from another city and don’t know if you can make it work? Were you blissfully bumping along in the same town and then one or the other of you got transferred? Personally, I think anything is possible, but you have to know yourself well to know if long distance is a possibility for you. A long distance relationship (LDR) brings the same set of challenges a local relationship does plus Continue reading

Would you date someone overweight?

Aaaaaand, to round off the week’s weigh in… a QUIZzical:

How to be a Great Date with Extra Weight (Part 2)

Earlier this week, I talked about “fattitude” holding you back. Today’s post is all about what happens when you let go of the fattitude and are ready for the next step… going out on dates without your attitude weighing you down.

Men and women are both falling under the weight restriction requirements of our culture these days. Fashion designers have determined that women must be a size 0-4 in order to be considered “beautiful” (and “plus size” is anything over a size 10) and men are supposed to have ripped abs, a gun show and thick hair even into their 60′s. Unfortunately for the other 90% of the population, some of those things weren’t even possible in our early 20′s.

What pop culture doesn’t emphasize is that there are many men and women out there who could care less about weight, hair follicles or ab ripplage. A good guy friend of mine pleaded with me to cover the fact that not every guy looks at women

Continue reading

How to Date with Extra Weight: Do you have a Fattitude?

We all know that everything from chemistry to compatibility come into the picture of defining the “whole package” for most people. Frankly, it’s easy for a dating “guru” or “expert” to suggest that you have to get it all into shape before you’ll be considered ready to date. After all, it brings them business in “fixing you.” Simply put, I don’t agree with the gurus. I think we are all a work in progress our entire lives. If you wait for “perfection,” you’re going to be alone for a long time.

Weight, fat, fitness, health… it’s a component that’s hard to overlook. And I don’t think you should. A lot of times, weight — either over or under optimal — indicates overall health. But not always. Most people are on a continuum between “biggest loser” and “I’ve given up.” The important thing is to be as far away from the “I’ve given up” extreme as possible. The closer you are to overcoming your mental challenges and attitude around weight loss, the more attractive you’re going to be to your date of choice whether you’ve attained “skinny” or not. A “fattitude” can really slow you down.

I’m consistently reading and hearing things like, “If you’re overweight you’ll never find someone good so just eat right, exercise and lose the weight!” Well, from someone who’s dealt with weight issues, there is nothing more frustrating than having a skinny person blithely throw off advice like Continue reading