I’m working on a pretty in-depth post about weight and dating and attitude and was hoping to post it today. And then I took my daily lunch blog break and caught up on Sex, Lies and Dating in the City. Simone posted a stunning story about a topic near and dear to my heart. Avoiding the “potential” trap. (Simone, please forgive me for not posting an entire article comment on your page since I decided cross-linking might be a better way to tackle how I feel about this one.)
The gist of the story. Boy meets girl. Girl and boy date. Ring and marriage is offered. Girl accepts with one caveat… she’ll only marry him if he changes X about himself. And proceeds to share that reason with anyone who asks when the wedding is. I definitely recommend sliding on over to Simone’s post if you want the whole story.
I searched through all my posts, certain that I’d written about the “potential trap” and couldn’t find it. And, of course, the whole concept ties in beautifully to my post on dating and weight issue. So, I decided to write a quickie (or, sigh, not so quick as it turns out) on potential today and perhaps make the one about weight a 2 part post for next week.
So, here’s my opinion on investing in potential:
Anytime someone says “I’ll love you if…” or “I’ll love you when,” the love becomes conditional. Period. Love isn’t something that can be parceled out like an abusive parent that loves you when you’re “good” and beats you when you’re “bad.” Because, no doubt about it, having conditions placed on you by someone who you love and trust feels like an emotional beating on the days that you don’t live up to their expectations. Continue reading
