Monthly Archives: September 2009

Detoxing From Bad Dating Behaviors

Have you been returning to old pastures a bit too often in the quest for your perfect person? Perhaps dating cheater after cheater or “nice but not quite” again and again? Then, you too can try the patented new detox system for worn and weary daters for only $99.99 per month. Known for its effectiveness at stopping old behavior patterns dead in their tracks, this simple one step system can guarantee success or your money back. Call us at 1-800-takeur$ for more information! This offer ends in 30 seconds…

Ok, so, yes… I’m having a bit of fun about a difficult topic. It’s one of the most frustrating issues for most daters… how do I change the type of person I’m attracting? Continue reading

Six Pieces of Odds and Ends Advice

More and more dating questions are being dropped in my lap by friends and readers via private email that I thought might be interesting to the public at large… so this post snapshots some recent questions and answers in a broad stroke. Granted… I don’t know your full situation (no one really does) and circumstances can dictate some exceptions to the rule, but here are some general guidelines for solving common dating problems, myths and frustrations.

Q: Should I give them another chance? They say they’ve “fixed” what they did wrong. Continue reading

Are You Dating A Commitment-Phobe?

They say it’s easy to fall in love with a commitment-phobe. I have to wonder about the veracity of this statement, but I guess there is a certain allure to the person who is always *just* beyond your reach and refuses to dance by the unofficial steps of  the relationship dance. Commitment-phobes come in all shapes and sizes, male and female, young and old but are all marked by one identifying factor… in their mind, relationships signify some sort of “trap” triggering an emotional fight or flight response whether the dater is aware of it or not.

Most commitment-phobic issues revolve around fearing what they need to give up for the sake of meeting another person’s needs. Will she have to sacrifice her clean kitchen and free-spirited travel? Will he have to give up his freedom to go out with Scarlett Johansson when they finally bump into each other on the street?

It’s incredibly easy to think that you may be the one person Continue reading

Does Religion Really Matter?

When I lived in LA, I was teased a lot about my faith… good naturedly, of course. Well, good naturedly if you can laugh about being asked things like “Why is the Pope’s hat so tall” and “Why don’t Christians plan mid-week holidays instead of weekends so you can get an extra day off work?” (Yeah — why don’t we do that?)

But I quickly realized that while the religion may or may not matter to the guy asking me out… his family usually had quite a bit to say about it. By now, I’ve developed my own ideas about why or why not inter-religious dating works for me and I’m curious to see if you all agree. Tell me what you think…

Online Profiles: What Not To Do

In light of the fact that online dating sites like Match.com are reporting a record number of members, I thought a quick re-cap of what not to do on your online dating profile would be in order:

1. Be Fun! Cynical, pessimistic and skeptical only come across as attractive to like minded folks and the CIA. Listing off what you don’t want only taunts those very people to email you and tell you either (a) why they aren’t that person or (b) why there is nothing wrong with being one of the points on your list. Go with mom’s old axiom here… “If you don’t have anything nice to say… don’t say anything at all.”

2. Speaking of mom…if you’re puzzling on profile picture selection, ask your opposite sex friends for feedback first. After all, mom’s not really your target market. Find out what picture they think not only resembles you but best shows your personality and makes you look H.O.T. (If your “friend” picks a picture with any of #3′s points, ditch said “friend” from your advice pool. ASAP!)

3. On the topic of pictures. The SO NOT HOT list includes the following:

  • bare-chested bathroom mirror self portraits
  • pictures with only bits and pieces of your ex left in the frame
  • pictures with you and a bunch of hooters waitress look-a-likes Continue reading

Is It Possible For Night Owls To Date Early Birds?

My recent schedule overhaul has me up a good 4 hours earlier than I used to be thanks to time zones and market hours. I’m still struggling with bed time thanks to my Night Owl internal clock. While I can wake up and get to work early in the morning, my body still craves the vampire hours of 10pm – 2am. My folks argue that you can re-train that and become a morning person… even though they’ve been dealing with their night owl daughter’s ways since infancy.

You may be asking at this point… Kelli, seriously, what does this have to do with dating? Well, I’ll tell you… Continue reading

Everybody Lies

While catching up on some of my favorite blogs this weekend, I ran across an interesting comment string about truth and lies in dating. Simone, a NYC dating blogger, related a story about how she discovered that one of her recent dates lied about his age on his online profile. She went ahead with the date anyway, not caring about his actual age (it was well within her parameters) but a little more wary due to the initial lie about it. Assorted follies happened over the next week or two and Mr. Nicepost became a footnote in her blog history before they ever got to the third date.

But, as the comments got rolling, a definite dichotomy in opinion emerged. One side claimed that “everyone lies” so what’s the big deal while the other side Continue reading

Vulnerability: How and When Do You Share?

My group of friends circled around a dating issue this past week that we’ve all struggled with at one time or another… when do you let down your guard in a relationship? I realized that this may, in fact, be a largely determining factor in what kind of relationships you end up having with your sex of choice.

Continue reading