Dating and Mating in America

We live in a fishbowl nation.

With the advent of social media and ease of information dissemination, all it takes is a comment, status update or text to seriously torpedo another person’s life. And many times, the commenter goes on their merry way… none the wiser for the detritus left in the wake of one, seemingly innocent, remark or photo. Is it any wonder that gossip continues to attain an increasing currency in today’s world? The polarization between who’s in the know and who isn’t becomes more and more apparent as social media takes the stage.

After decades of a private and “keep it behind closed doors” mentality, many people are struggling to find a balance between sharing too much and not sharing enough. A social stigma is arising for those who choose not to participate in communities like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, LinkedIn…etc. The non-participant — seen as not “with it” — misses out on social engagements, life news and rarely knows that their picture is all over the web — sometimes with a string of comments about the occasion and each person in the picture tagged by name. The non-participant may have the best of reasons for not being involved, but even dedication to managing personal time wisely or choosing to not run with the lemmings can become a detriment in the world of dating, mating and job seeking. If you aren’t watching, you just don’t know how much of your life other people are sharing with an inquisitive searcher.

You think, well, if you aren’t doing anything wrong, what’s the problem? I’ll admit to having this thought a time or two, but seriously, who lives a life free of mis-perception? Even the completely innocent action or picture can be easily misconstrued. I’m not suggesting you spend your whole life monitoring your online life… who has the time? So, do you just adopt a “who cares” attitude and go about your day? Or take steps to manage the bulk of it?

Have we accepted a passive gossip approach in our social community by posting pictures and making comments with or without the other person’s knowledge? I mean, we all think gossip is a bad thing and if someone embraces it, it’s with more of a bravado and jousting with the machine mentality than a true belief that gossip is good. I’ve heard things like “celebrities deserve what they get when they sign on to be a face in front of a camera,” and think… really? Do any of us deserve to be fodder for other people to talk about? How would you feel if someone took that approach to you posting pictures on your Facebook page and spent their time dissecting your photos and making up stories about what’s going on in your life based on their uninformed interpretation? Perhaps you’ve already experienced that one and are now a privacy nazi about your online image. Wouldn’t blame you if you were.

So, I guess my question for the day… how much responsibility do we take with the gathering and dissemination of information in this brave new dating fishbowl?