Post Date Wrap Up

“They had such a cool way of looking at the world. I really admire that. Not sure they’re really my type, but I want to give them another chance. I think I could grow into being more attracted…”

“Yup, a hottie! Well, they did have this weird thing about the end of their nose and their toes were seriously jacked. They may be too smart for me. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I want to go out with them again.”

Any question as to which statement was a guy and which was a girl?

I’m tabling chemistry on this observation, since I think “having chemistry” makes both guys and girls rather blind to any potential problems and much more willing to overlook “issues” that come up in the chemistry discovery process. When and if the chemistry dies…THEN you get the following pattern…

I’ve heard a lot of first date wrap ups from guys and girls but it never really hit me until I was catching up on my tivo’d “dating in the dark” segments and noticed a very delineated pattern. The girls come back from their date (having never seen the guy with the lights on) and are doing a whole song and dance about what they liked about the guy. There may be a few questions or red flags, but the girls (on the whole) are quick to brush them off and be ready for round two. The guys? Totally different. The guys would come back full of observations about what possible problems might be and uncertain about whether or not this girl was a keeper but willing to give it another go in the hopes that she would be hot.

Interesting… I don’t think it had everything to do with the light/dark situation, (I know guys TEND to be more visual than girls) I think it may have more to do with typical guy/girl patterns. When I get the download from a guyfriend after a date… I do hear all the possible yellow flags and have had to help more than one friend over a self-imposed road block in order to try for a second date (ie. jacked up toes being a red flag.) Girls are a whole different beast — you can talk until your face turns blue about a major red flag (like him flirting with the waitress and taking a call from a girl in the middle of the date) and most will blithely brush it aside and decide to give Mr. Red Flag a second chance.

So, what’s the deal? Is it that women learn to mistrust their instincts and guys are trained to notice and avoid problems? An imbalance in the numbers of single men and single women? I’m seeing only desperate women and confident men? Optimist women and pessimistic men? I know I’m generalizing and this is really an off the cuff observation but I’m wondering if you’ve noticed the same pattern?