I’ll admit it, I catch the new reality dating shows when I can find time to sweep through my DVR in-box. These past two weeks of TV have been a bit personally disturbing for one big reason… FOX’s latest Bachelor type spin-off, “More to Love.”
For those of you who missed it (or who use their ancient TV set as a planter/fish bowl,) I’ll recap:
More to Love: 1 husky, 26 year old who prefers “curvy” women + Emme to host + 2 confident and competitive plus sized women daters + 18 weepy, desperate “never been loved because I’m too fat” girls. Any one else think this is going to be a train wreck?
Aside from the continual cut-aways of women sharing with Bachelor Mike that they’ve been cheated on by every man they’ve ever dated, crying about their weight always being in the way of men loving them for who they are inside, sighing about never having had a real date and cutting their competition down to size… I don’t wonder too much about the motives behind the producers picking these women. They make good TV… if you like that kind of thing.
As far as finding walking, talking stereotypes of what it’s like to be a “plus size” in America, FOX succeeded. I just wish they’d stocked the pool with a few real-to-life confident AND nice curvy girls. They do exist. I know several who don’t seem to live in an “I’m fat therefore I can’t be loved” kind of reality.
Thankfully, FOX found a guy who loves the big girls. But between his kissing every girl he can get alone and his compulsion to draw out how badly these women felt about themselves until they met “someone like him”… the cynic in me is left questioning his motives just a teensy bit. Who knows… maybe it’s just his weeding process. My inner optimist is gunning for the possibility that he’s totally excited about being able to kiss a bunch of pretty girls who are over the moon about “finally dating a man bigger than me.”
I don’t know that I can watch any more episodes since I’m already muting and fast forwarding (love love LOVE DVR) through the more than half of the show, but I did pull something out of all of this for reader edification. (See the sacrifices I make for you?)
- If you decide to use reality TV shows as your method of dating, know that they WILL find a way to montage you at your tear stained, snotty nosed, back stabbing worst. If you use reality TV as a guideline for how to get a date… God help you. Literally.
- Low self esteem is very very (very) bad for your dating health. If you think you’re “not hot,” you’ll be surprised at how quickly your date agrees with you. At the risk of sounding like a modern day hippy — find the love within man, find the love within.
- Dating desperate leads to desperate decisions. I’m watching all these “More to Love” girls falling bonkers over a guy who is — well — pretty normal. But they are treating him like their own personal messiah. My question… would they like him if they weren’t desperate? (Actually, I think all these group date shows create the same kind of desperation, but that’s a different post all together.)
- We all have something we think is “different,” “undesirable,” or “unlovable” within. (Even, and perhaps especially, those “Mean Girls.”) Your challenge should you choose to accept it — either change your outlook on the problem or make the changes needed to solve the problem. What your mom always said about whiners was right on target. No one likes them.
To sum it all up, if you find yourself in a dating situation that looks like a reality TV show, exit stage left and don’t look back.
I really didn’t think anyone else watched this…it is painful. Great post. You may not have caught this Lauren (the one who wore jeans to the pool party) gave Mike “scoop” about the girls in the house unsolicited. Told him two girls were over 30 (he is 26) and one “didn’t want babies” and she was old enough to be his mom. Then Mike got rid of the girls Lauren spoke of. Couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of their age or what she said?! Kristian is quickly becoming the “crazy” one on the show…never been kissed. Oh boy. Agreed this show is a “trainwreck”!
I did catch that — I was hoping he’d oust Lauren for her catty, backstabbing ways… but alas… he kept her on. *sigh*
I don’t wantch a lot of t.v., but this is one that I would totally skip over. I think that there are enough misconceptions about overweight people in our society that we don’t need a “reality” show re-enforcing them.
I think you’re right. It was hard to watch for so many reasons… among the worst of them being that I felt like FOX stacked the ladies for drama as opposed to healthy outlook. I seriously hope these girls aren’t scarred for life.
“Reality” tv is another vessel for drama, and we are all attracted to this. But it also gives misconceptions which skews ones view on ‘reality’ which is ironic.
And the young kids that watch it get drawn into it, and affects things on how they ‘view’ relationships, or what to expect from their beau (IE needs to be Adonis, etc.) Sadly from what my friends growing up have told me….this led to poor decisions and missed opportunities.