Have you been called high maintenance lately? Here’s what he was saying to you…
There are three sides to the maintenance equation.
I’m going to explain all three, but keep in mind what my friend Jamie said last night, “Maintenance is relative for everyone. If you are considered ‘low maintenance’ that just means you only want what is easy for the other person to provide.” I really like his definition since I think it’s a valuable piece of insight. Some guys/girls also really LIKE when their mate is put together all the time and a bit of a challenge to please. So being called “High” isn’t the worst thing in the world from the right person. If you are a guy or girl dating someone you consider “high maintenance,” I guess you just really have to ask yourself if you can afford them or not. If yes, great! And if you are a “high maintenance” girl avoiding the bitchy side of it, you may be the best of all worlds for many men who can afford your tastes.
Just don’t fool yourself about your level of expectations. As Harry Burns says in “When Harry Met Sally” (where all of this originated): “You’re the worst kind. You’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.”
To most guys, a “high maintenance girl” is one who exhibits several or all of the following qualities (for definition of “Low” maintenance just draw the opposite comparison):
- you take more than 20 minutes getting ready every morning
- all of your prep works tends to pay off since you are considered “hot” by any standard except a hippy’s.
- you have more than one “personal care” appointment each week. For example… you can safely get a manicure every week without being termed “high” but if you get a mani/pedi, wax and blow out every Friday… you are a “high” maintenance kind of girl.
- you don’t get in the pool, lake or ocean because it might mess up your hair and makeup
- you wear stilettos and jewelry to lounge by the pool
- you don’t like animals because they leave pet hair on your clothes — but you think Poodles, Havanese and those hairless cats are acceptable… especially when the Poodles have that cute little pom pom type cut…
- you require a 30 minute to hour pit stop between each activity to change clothes and re-apply makeup
- he’s never seen you without makeup
- you refuse to go anywhere on a whim — its very important to you that you dress the occasion
- you really are too delicate to do anything like yard work or trash detail. Washing dishes gives you the hives.
- your dry cleaner, cobbler, tailor, waxer, trainer, tanning salon, hair and nail people all know you by name and have put up a plaque with your name thanking you for your support.
Emotional High Maintenance:
- If he gets a phone call — you MUST know who it is and why they are calling.
- If he doesn’t pay you a compliment every time he sees you (this includes when you leave the room and walk back in) — he isn’t “treating [you] right.”
- Never EVER tease about the way you look. EVER.
- You insist on going out on the town even when your guy might be a little under the weather or stressed out. He’ll get over it.
- He must not EVER mention the time you got into that embarrassing situation where someone saw you without your “face” on.
- If you call him, he’d better pick it up within the first two rings. Text, email or IM him — and he’d better return it within two minutes.
- No looking at or thinking about other women. Period.
- No female friends. period.
- you are totally ok with being considered vain and think more people should try it on for size. In fact, you find yourself drifting away from friends and lovers who may not be “pretty enough” to meet your standards.
- you are serious when you judge other women or men for lack of grooming, trendy dressing and hair removal.
- the Sally type food ordering of “When Harry Met Sally” fame
- You drive BMW, Mercedes, Land Rovers, Jaguars, Bentleys and Porsches. Sometimes you might lower yourself to drive a Lexus or Escalade — but only the hybrid ones because you are “green.”
- You live in a posh pad. No psuedo-ghetto for you and certainly no second hand goods. You would never consider sharing with a housemate unless it was of the rich boyfriend varietal.
- You have the latest and greatest of any gadget or supply for your hobbies, interests and passing fads.
- You know you’ve been overspending on the shoes and clothes, but it’ll all work out. After all, you really just can’t do without that new LV bag!
- Only the best restaurants for you. It’s your right to eat and be served by the best.
- All of those personal maintenance activities during the week? You expect someone else to pay for them. Forever.
- You would never wait to buy something you wanted. Someone else will pay off your debt at some point. (including that boob job)
- Only labels and only at trendy boutiques, Saks or NM.
- When you are hosting, your food and ambiance top the last party your friend threw by a long shot.
- If they don’t have 5 star accommodations, you can’t be expected to really want to travel there.
- More than one person has commented on feeling like they are entering a museum when coming into your home.
- You are so picky, that everyone who loves you knows to let you pick out your own presents since you won’t be happy with something that someone else picked for you.
Ask Men did a great down and dirty about how to spot a High Maintenance Woman. Definitely check it out for more info.