Dating and Mating in America

Have you ever wondered what it means that he asked you out for a Tuesday instead of Friday night dinner?

Here’s your first/second and third date translation key based completely on my own opinion, with no research verification aside from friend’s comments and overheard bar conversation (please weigh in with your own opinions):

Sunday Day: I’m chilled, relaxed and ready to meet someone out for an easy coffee date. Not a weekend night per-se but more than a weekday. If this is a second or third date… you haven’t really rocked their socks off but they are giving it a second/third chance.

Sunday Night: I had too many fun things/other dates over the weekend but I can’t really afford to push meeting you out too much longer so I’ll go for an early curfew, mellow dinner/coffee out. If it’s lame — its an easy bail.

Monday: I really don’t think this is going to go anywhere, but it’s the beginning of the week and my weekend really sucked. I might cancel just on general principle.

Tuesday: Neutral night for dinner or coffee. Since the work week is just starting to get rolling, energy levels are still likely to be perky and you are ready for someone to surprise you. If this is a second or third date — you are either dealing with someone so anxious to see you again, they fit in the first available… really busy schedules with lots of scheduling conflicts or someone who is marginally interested but not yet ready to take you out in “public.”

Wednesday: Not to be confused with hump day. This is also a neutral night. Take it or leave it, it could go either way. See the comments on Tuesday Night.

Thursday: Not quite the weekend but more “loaded” than any of the other week nights. Your date is likely to be up for a bit more than chillaxin’ on this date. Drinks are flowing and dinner is likely to last a little longer than it might on another night. This is a good night for date 1, 2 or 3. There’s a good chance that the asker likes you and hopes you like them too.

Friday: Surprisingly, this isn’t the best night of the week to be asked out. Depending on how your date rolls, this one could end up with complete drunkenness, a dinner cut short or a late cancel due to work stress and  exhaustion. Schedule with caution here and if you are making the plans, try for something a little out of the ordinary to entice what could be a tired date to come out despite just wanting to curl up with a good movie at home.

Saturday Day: A good any date placement. It gives you time to get to know each other on a non-week day and still have the relaxing and fun vibe that a weekend brings. This also signals on a second and third date that the person wants to get to know you apart from “night-time” activities. A good sign that they plan to build a friendship along with the relationship.

Saturday Night: The pinnacle of date status. If you get offered a Saturday night FIRST date, you are at the top of the “must meet” list and that person thinks you might really hit it off. Either that or they really think they might get laid. (Do you have a reputation for first date nooky? Anyway…) Not many single folks are willing to “sacrifice” a Saturday night to a mediocre or bad date. If you’ve got game, bring it.

The Exceptions to the general translation key:

1. If you are dealing with anyone who works from home, runs a business, works retail or has an otherwise non 9 to 5 schedule… they may not even register what night of the week or weekend it is since there is no set “weekend” in their world. The Saturday evening definition may still apply, but my advice would be to take it all with a grain of salt and read my body language post for better (and documented) translation of the situation.
2. If you both have ridiculous travel schedules, just be glad to find a night when you are both in town. Try not to read too much into what night of the week it lands on, just be ready to shuck off travel-weariness and have fun!
3. Are you non-conformists? Ignore the above translations. He/she might just ask you out on a Monday to buck the system. But you are probably not even reading by this point because you figured out pretty quickly that this post was aimed for mainstream American daters.
4. If either of you have kids. The babysitter availability or non-custody nights will determine when you can make a break for it and get together.
5. If you are being asked out for a particular event, scrap the significance of the actual night on which the event takes place. At this point, I am assuming you’ve talked about something you both happen to like and decided to take advantage of that commonality. SMART dating move.