You know… so many “gotta have someone…anyone!” daters have this stench about them and as my friend Will states, “The scent of desperation is one stinky stinky perfume.”
Someone getting a nose-full of desperation can kill your chance of a second date before you even get to goodnight. Sometimes its hard to smell yourself coming but watch out for the following three things and you may keep yourself out of the desperation skunk patch…
- Stink Factor #1: low self-esteem. If you don’t believe you are a catch, and you really really want someone else to think you are one… its not gonna work. Believe you are a catch and act in that belief and you’ll suddenly find yourself attracting more attention than you know what to do with.
- Stink Factor #2: The “Must Have Someone” Syndrome. If you are on the hunt for you+me+baby makes three… you are going to seriously freak out most people who want to get to know someone first. Be ok with being alone. Sometimes being alone can be one of the sweetest times in your life. Enjoy your time in between relationships and bask in the time to focus on your own stuff (cause you really aren’t going to have that luxury when baby makes three!)
- Stink Factor #3: The Up Selling Approach. Do you feel like you have to add sex or money or status to the plate in order to attract a mate? A pretty stinky approach. Especially since it will attract stinkers in return. Take a moment to figure out who you are apart from your “trappings” and focus on what you really value about yourself. Unless you are a playboy millionaire and know that you want pure sex and nothing else — then work it baby and enjoy that Gold-digger flavah.
How to smell sweet again? First, realize your own worth. That smells sweeter than any perfume. Second remember that you don’t HAVE to be with someone to be happy — get happy in your own right and you will be a lot happier in relationship. And lastly, wait for the wow factor. Choose someone because you respect and love them and they WOW you, not because you are stinky desperate to not be alone anymore.
HEAR HEAR! I am a believer that thoughts are creative.
Think thoughts of desperation and you create more of that. Think thoughts that you are a catch and your perfect someone(s) is(are) attracted to you and … viola! They are!.
Amen to these words. Great advice and insight!
Yup…I’m with you on your thought life having a huge impact on your day to day life. I’ve experienced the date where all the guy talked about was wanting kids (marriage came in there somewhere but kids were top shelf) and I thought to myself… is this what it sounds like to so many guys when a woman can’t stop talking about wanting to be married or have kids?! I certainly knew where his priorities were, but yikes… I so did not want to be his baby-maker!
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