February 9, 2010
My big news? I am in the process of moving. Not just moving houses or neighborhoods, but states. I’m leaving the great state of Texas for my home state of California and now am pictured prominently under the dictionary definition of a “Damn Texifornian.” (What can a girl do? I like big, sunny states with interesting people and big beau-hunky men.)
I’ve lived the nomadic life for the past year. On the road with two suitcases and 7 pairs of shoes. My dog joined me in September for a 3 month stint in Seattle (lovely) before driving down to San Francisco to find our new home all ready and waiting, complete with a crazy downstairs neighbor who makes a big deal out of things like us tiptoeing around shoeless and Dylan not peeing on “her” tree. Adjustments. It’s all in the adjustments. But crazy person aside, I love my new home in SF. I have a great flat-mate, live in the most beautiful place ever and am a whopping one and a half blocks from an off leash dog park. Life is good. And so is the dating.
But, reality had to come to roost at some point. Keep reading →
February 3, 2010
Ahhh, economic woes. Budgetary cutbacks really bring out the penny pincher in us all. Especially when it comes to the old social life. But how do you know whether your date thinks you’re cheap or frugal? A few simple distinctions may help you stay on the more gracious side of the wallet…
- A cheap date values the dollar over a person. A frugal date values the person over the dollar.
- Cheap dates are inconsiderate. They skimp on the tip or request that their date order something less expensive. A frugal date
takes you somewhere where they know they can afford the bill without cheating the servers or anxiously monitoring your food selection.
- Cheap dates think Keep reading →
Filed under Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice
Tags: budget, cheap, dating advice, dealbreakers, expensive, frugal, gold diggers, life, men, money, women
February 2, 2010
I have a confession to make. I was reading along in righteous indignation on this post about a serial meal ticket hunter whose game plan was to raise the ante from drinks to dinner for every date when I realized… wait a minute, I think I might have inadvertently done this myself a time or two. On those nights when I tried to fit in one too many things between work, work out and date — leading me to choose between shower or snack. I’ve definitely been guilty of showing up hungry (but clean) to what was only defined as a “drinks” date. Keep reading →
Filed under Culture, Dating, Etiquette, Personal
Tags: communication, Culture, Dating, hunting, meal ticket, men, old-fashioned, paying, pursuing, respect, women
January 27, 2010
My dad raised me with very, very old-fashioned values. Don’t call boys, don’t pursue men, certainly don’t let men pay for too much or they might think you owe them something, never stay under the same roof with a man you aren’t married to and only prostitutes wear boots (Due to this last assertion, my sassy boots stay in the car when I visit. The paramedic guys may be really cute in Southern Cali, but I can hold off on needing to call them because I caused my dad to have a heart attack.)
You (and I) may not agree with all of his assertions (especially the boot thing) but there are some areas where he actually knows what he’s talking about. Insights like Keep reading →
Filed under Advice for Girls, Advice for Guys, Dating, Humor, Keeping a Date, Personal, Relationship Advice
Tags: advice, dad, Family Guy, flirting, life, love, men, passive, relationships, wisdom, women
January 25, 2010
After a heart to heart with one of my love-lorn “nice” guy friends this weekend, I thought perhaps a post on the difference between “nice” and “passive” might be worth writing. If you suspect that you’ve confused the two, here’s a kick in the pants from your favorite dating blogger. *grin*
I’m thinking the “nice guys finish last” saying should be changed to ”passive guys finish last.” After all, I know a lot of “nice” guys who do very well with the ladies, but they are definitely not passive. What’s the difference between nice and passive? “Nice” is a way to do unto others and “passive” is an attitude of letting others do unto you.
For American guys, dating is hard work. Keep reading →
Filed under Advice for Guys, Culture, Dating, Finding a Date, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice
Tags: advice, aggressive, America, communication, Culture, Dating, Golden Rule, leader, life, love, marriage, men, nice guys finish last, passive, patterns, relationships, respect
January 21, 2010
What Dogs Do
I’m always interested when I hear a guy say this, because, in fact, I know a lot of great guys who are not dogs. (Well, they are dogs in the cute, cuddly and loyal sense but not in the pejorative sense.) So, why would a guy make this statement? Especially to follow-up any protestations with statements like: “Well, if you don’t think he’s a dog, it’s just because you don’t REALLY know him.” Or my favorite, “Just give him time.” You would think the guy would NOT want you to think men are dogs because then you might decide to become a cat person.
But I think he’s going for a bit of reverse psychology to excuse his own doggish behavior. You see, dogs are pack creatures by nature and not typically cut out to be a lone wolf. So if he can convince himself AND you that all men are just like him — then he has an interior justification for what he does and “good” reason you should accept his dog-like behavior. (Because anything better simply isn’t available.)
So, I’ve decided to add this statement to my rolodex of yellow/orange flags. Why not red? Well, sometimes a guy is just saying it because he’s mistakenly trying to commiserate with your bad date dog stories and intends to follow-up his statement with something like… “My mom and sisters taught me better.”
January 20, 2010
One of my readers came across this article asserting that men decide to marry based more on timing than love. Understandably, (after all – this does rock the boat on the whole Cinderella myth) she was a little nonplussed and asked for my POV. Honestly, I’d never really thought about it. I guess I was going along with the “when he finds the right girl” theory, but the article made me question my assumption… so, I asked the guys and this is what they had to say:
Filed under Advice for Girls, Dating, Keeping a Date, Relationship Advice, poll
Tags: Dating, dealbreakers, falling in love, fear of commitment, life, love, marriage, men, patterns, Peter Pan, romance, the one, timing, women
January 11, 2010
I’m going to venture into uncharted territory today and make an “all” statement… I think, at one time or another, we’ve ALL opened our mouth and said something we later came to regret.
Even you quiet sorts that I’m always encouraging to communicate and speak your mind, I’m betting that even you have said something you deeply wished you could retract after the fact. (Of course, maybe you became a quiet sort after one of those peppermint flavored shoe experiences…)
Yes, communication is vital. I would say it’s one of the top 3 determining factors in the success or failure of a relationship… be it marriage, dating, friendship, work, family, etc. But part of communication is Keep reading →
Filed under Dating
Tags: anger, communication, dealbreakers, honesty, lies, life, listening, love, lust, marriage, men, relationships, sarcasm, silence, wisdom, women
January 6, 2010
Ok ladies, I’m betting you’ve heard this one before… “The reason guys don’t ask you out is because you’re intimidating.”
My personal take on it before I got the guy feedback? I thought there were a couple of reasons a guy might tell you you’re “intimidating:”
- I don’t want to insult you, but I’m not going to ask you out.
- I’m overwhelmed/impressed/a bit in awe at how together you are/hot you are/accomplished you are/etc.
- I’m not sure I have anything to offer/you don’t put out the vibe that you think I have anything to offer
- You’re totally not approachable/I’m a chicken checking to see if you’d consider going out with me anyway.
I did some unofficial polling on my FB and Twitter feeds to ask the men-folk what they were *really* thinking when they said this one and, of course, had a LOT of women weigh in with an opinion. But here are the guy replies to my question… Keep reading →
